come home to my heart

vi. Starting Over

YOU'RE AN IDIOT

YOU ARE THE BIGGEST IDIOT THAT EVER LIVED

Richard Bowen had just kissed Genevieve Marie Porter.

He just kissed Gina. Gina Porter had a boyfriend who very obviously wasn't him.

The curly-haired senior hopes the cold air and lovely chattering of his friends in the background when he closes the door wake him up with every second that passes. He bites his lip and tries not to recall the familiar sensation from moments ago. When it happens anyway he stills at the door, not only because his mind fixates on the feeling of her hand brushing on his waist, but because Carlos he gives him a curious look as he frantically moves past him to the door. The action flares Ricky's nerves up, he gets a reprieve when the choreographer finally closes the door.

Well at least I don't have to tell him Gina's waiting.

The sounds of his friends going through what seems like a very competitive round of Pictionary muffles when he walks to the kitchen. His eyes instinctively move toward Red, laughing next to Kourtney while Seb tried to hilariously gesture what seemed to be a horse to Ashlyn. Ricky couldn't bother his best friend with another crisis, not now. Red had been such a good friend to him and he was having fun.

The curly haired skater sighs. This is bad this is so bad. He hesitates when a thought dawns on him, this is emergency level bad.

[utah theater loser]: hey man

[utah theater loser]: I could really use a friend rn

Ricky anxiously paces in Natalie Badgely's kitchen of all places. He'd met Jet over the summer when he went to go visit his mom and Jaz. He'd lived next door with his sister Maddox. They bonded over complex relationships with their siblings, Ricky having just gained a sister really appreciated it even though Jet could be a little rough around the edges. The senior had come to realize people with duck stuffed animals in their possession weren't that intimidating and saw somewhat of a younger version of himself in Jet.

[little ricky]: are you crying about gina again?

[utah theater loser]: I did something stupid

[little ricky]: yeah and the sky is blue

[utah theater loser]: like really BAD

Ricky feels tears prickling his eyes and he hurriedly tries to blink away while his phone buzzes in his hand. Jets contact photo (a secret blurry image of his stuffed duck) flares on the screen in his hand. Ricky breathes out in relief.

"What did you do now?" an exasperated voice picks up.

Ricky fights a sad smile, "Hey man." He greets defeated.

"Woah, Ricky you okay?" Jet immediately asks his tone transforming to something more sympathetic.

"Yeah um," He sniffles, making his way further into the kitchen space away from his friends having fun in the living room. "No."

"Hey, dude just deep breaths okay." Jet slowly responds, "Do you wanna talk about what happened?"

Ricky clutches the phone tighter, "I ruined it for her." His voice nearly cracks with heavy emotion.

"Ruined wha-"

"I ruined everything. She deserves the perfect relationship and I keep putting myself in the fucking way," Ricky says in contempt. "And I know EJ isn't perfect but she is and everything she does is, so of course I-"