What's at Heart

I've always wanted to do my own reading the books fanfiction, and while yes I know I tried once before and gave up on it, bookhater95's recent one shot What's at Heart has inspired me to try again dang it, especially as they've almost finished their second one in another kind of style that I'm so obsessed with and want to give a try. There will be zero book dialogue in this and only mentions of what is happening in the book will be spoken of but never directly quoted.

Go check both out if you want to see what kick-started this. If you do end up reading All in the Family, I apologize for the repeat locations that will be happening, but I've been given permission to do so and it really can't be helped, but know I'm going to do my very best to put my own spin on them. Enjoy!

"You'll be godfather," James told him with that smile he felt like he'd known all his life, because everything before didn't matter when he'd first seen it that day on the train. That quirk of the lips was certainly the first one he'd ever received that expected nothing in return except a laugh back.

"Me?" Sirius jerked his hand out of Lily's, off her stomach, finally believing the two were not joking about this as his ears apparently did not deceive him, she was smiling in just the same way. "But- Remus-"

"We could pick Dumbledore if I wanted someone with a level head," Prongs shrugged.

"There's no one better Padfoot," she told him fiercely.

Sirius didn't realize he was crying until a few little drops appeared on the letter in his still shaking hand. He hastily tapped it to banish such a thing, his voice was surprisingly steady. "Thanks Moony."

He sat down at the table next to him, watching him somehow with even more concern than when he'd hesitantly handed it over. "Did, did it not help? I can't apologize enough I couldn't find more, I-" It had only survived this long because it had somehow ended up in the pile of information about the Order he'd meticulously feared losing, or his past would be for nothing. Rather than the many keepsakes of the Marauder's he'd burned after that night.

"I know," Sirius firmly stopped him before Remus had to say it all again, the argument to start all this still ringing in his ears far more than Walburga Black's portrait could ever do to him. "This is, more than enough. Yes, it worked, I actually remember them, telling me-" his voice broke. The knowledge had always been there, but he'd really began to believe Molly's terse mutters about him going crazy lately, that maybe he'd invented this fact along with so many other things he'd forgotten...

The exact moment was blurry around the edges, like a poorly done photo that kept looping out of step. He had no idea if he'd been at their house, or the couple had come to visit him that day, what had happened before or after this most precious day of his life, or even how exactly he'd felt. The words echoed like a bad connection in his ears, but it was still there at all. More than he could recall seconds before as he stared at Lily's familiar handwriting, the picture of Harry zooming along on his first broom finally to replace the startled teenager he'd only gotten a glimpse of before the Knight Bus had nearly run him over.

He'd missed Harry's first birthday and every one ever since, but he'd been there when Harry was born. He knew that as fact now and nobody could take it away from him even if he couldn't recall the exact memory. He had been there for Harry in the past, and he would be again, nothing was going to stop that.

'Except yourself,' the nasty, Kreacher like bullfrog voice echoed clear as day in his head now despite the vile thing never having spoken those words to him. 'You abandoned Harry once before for your own revenge and look at how well that splendid decision turned out!' It's no wonder Harry didn't seem to need him, what had he ever done to earn his godsons trust when it mattered? Harry had done more to help his useless arse than he'd ever managed in return his whole life.