Lost | ✔

Chapter Seven - Things Keep Going Downhill

Even though she was lost in a maze-like forest, Khushi had kept her morale high.

They were doing pretty fine surviving and she was increasingly feeling optimistic about getting out, especially when Arnav told her that his brother was out looking for him along with the police force. She figured that was one advantage of being lost with Arnav Singh Raizada, though she knew that she would probably get arrested once they are rescued. But she didn’t bother with that. She’d deal with it when it’s time. Her top priority was to get out of here safely and so far, even with Arnav’s constant jibing, she thought things were going relatively well.

That’s why she was not ready when everything went downhill.

First, there was this whole outburst of Arnav Singh Raizada. At first, Khushi was confused, then she was outraged.

What an ungrateful asshole! She’d thought. Here she was trying to take care of him and he was yelling at her?

So, she had fired back, until he said whatever she felt all this while—that all of this, their predicament, was her fault.

Obviously, she had always known that. Since day one she had taken it upon herself to keep him safe, believing that it was the bare minimum she could do to compensate for this mess. But hearing about how she messed up so bad from him, well, it was somehow worse. It had taken her all the way back to her childhood where she was constantly told that she was good for nothing. Useless and unhelpful in every way.

It had hurt, a little too much. So, she left.

As she walked away, she cursed him in her mind, reassuring herself that she was leaving because he was a pain in the butt and she shouldn’t have to put up with him. But, deep down she knew she was leaving because probably, he was better off without her.

Misery had, therefore, washed all over her as she trudged along alone, her curses soon diverting from Mr. Raizada to herself. Finally, she had stopped and sat herself down for a moment of composure.

That was when she had that huge debate with herself—one part of her too ashamed to go back to him, even a little scared that she would mess things more for him, and the other adamant that she should take full responsibility. If this was her fault, she shouldn’t run away. Arnav was resourceful, yes, but he was also reckless. At times, he wouldn’t even take a break from walking around the forest or even think of searching for food. His entire focus was on getting out, not necessarily on surviving whilst they were still here. If he continues like that, he could fall sick and if that happens, he would be all alone to deal with it.

But he doesn’t like it when I even think of helping him! A part of her whined but she knew she wouldn’t let that stop her from returning. She wouldn’t be at rest without knowing that he was okay and, she sure would never forgive herself if anything happened to him and she was not there to help him.

Going back felt like a severe blow to her self-respect but she did it anyways.

Forcing all of her misery back inside of her, she marched in the opposite direction to find him.

That was when things went further south.

She had been on the edge of panicking, fearing that she would never find him again in this maze, when she caught the sight of him; crumpling to the ground as a massive something—was it a log?—hit him in the back.

She had been frozen in place for a hot second before her senses rang in alarm. She had hurriedly gathered the only weapon at her disposal...the largest stones she could find. Without thinking, she had flung two of them at the man nearest to Arnav. She was driven by sheer panic, especially because that man had just been about to crush Arnav with that massive whatever of his. But seeing how he fell down, with a trickle of blood coming down his neck, Khushi had frozen yet again.

A cold feeling dissolved in her stomach, spreading all the way to her throat and she feared for a horrible moment that she had just killed a person. However, it was not long before she came out of the trance and when she did, she didn’t care about anything else.

Her eyes locked with Arnav and she was so relieved to see him awake that, with a sob, she ran straight at him.
Everything else happened in a haze after that. She was seized with bewilderment and fright and didn’t register quite of what was going on. She just recognized Arnav’s touch on her wrist—don’t ask her how—and she had set off running with him.

That night, as she laid in her makeshift bed, she calmed down enough to process what had happened, but that didn’t help much. If anything, it just made things worse for her. She didn’t know who those men were nor what their intentions had been but she felt responsible for landing Arnav in that situation.

If it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t have been stuck here in this forest! A voice chided her from inside.

Yeah, another agreed, you startled him! The crash was your fault and now, he was almost kil—

Unable to hear it any longer, she had put all of her strength in shutting off those voices. All of her might went into preventing her mind from replaying the comments she’d become so used to hear, about how she brings nothing but bad luck to the table. How she would never be able to do anything properly. How she would always stay a failure...a mess.

That was when he apologized. And that was it.

She couldn’t stop herself after that. She couldn’t help but disagree with him. Tell him that this was all her fault indeed. She truly was a disgrace to her own name, for she caused misfortune everywhere she went.

Soon, she lost control over herself. Her words no longer seemed to be coming out in a structured manner, as if she was not talking to someone in particular but was, instead, simply pouring out all that she’d kept hidden within. It was like a dam had broken and she spilled everything—her past, her insecurities, even her dreams and her failures.

When she realised how much she’d let on, she was mortified of course, to the point where she almost swore to never speak ever again. But Arnav had not been scornful. He had allowed her to speak, listened to her intently and offered his help.

He showed her a side of him that she didn’t think would ever be in existence, not after his recent outburst—he proved himself to be insightful, and...kind. He analysed her problems so skilfully, she was beyond impressed. He had touched down at the very source of her misery, made her realise what she was doing wrong and motivated her to do better.

Khushi had then been pleasantly surprised, not only by the 180 he’d just pulled but also by the fact that for once, she didn’t feel violated as someone looked deeper into her life. Maybe, that was because Arnav was right.

Now when she thinks about it, Khushi should have realised earlier that things turn out well only when she focuses solely on what she wants, and what she has to do, and not on how to prove others wrong. After all, didn’t she just dismiss all thoughts about how Arnav would react to her return and adamantly came back, to do what she felt was right? And didn’t that just worked out perfectly? Well, as perfectly as it could.

And Arnav had also been right about the scholarship. She'd never thought about it that way but that scholarship really was the most important thing in her life. It was her first step towards independence. She had rejected financial help from Payal, wanting to make it on her own. And she did.

She had even taken small, temporary jobs in the meantime, just to get some extra support through college. That was the only phase in her life where she didn’t completely screw things up. Little accidents happened once or twice, like the time when she had bumped into a teacher and poured scalding hot coffee on her arms but nothing major. She supposed, it was indeed because she was doing everything for herself. She wanted to learn, she wanted to get that degree in English studies and literature. Later, having developed an active interest in journalism, she also took a part time course in Journalism and Media Communication, shouldering the expenses by giving private tuitions.

That experience had helped her with her first job as a replacement teacher before she got herself fired for accidently disclosing the affair that the principal was having with one of the teachers. Things had only worsened when she moved on to her next job as an advertising assistant. The job itself was fine but the environment within which she worked, was pure toxic—her colleagues were not exactly friendly or respectful for that matter. They had continued the tradition of making Khushi feel worthless and eventually, Khushi lost her grip on her job.

Later, she got what she considered to be no more less than a dream job when Mr. Sharma took more interest in her academic qualifications than her track record, but she was not able to hold on to it. Now, she realised that had been because she spent too much time being afraid to lose it than actually working to keep it.

It was all confusing, but she understood it now. And she knew what she had to do. Arnav's words were clear to her. They'd put things into perspective and she couldn't be more grateful.

Of course, simply listening to what he said was not enough. When she gets home, she'll have to implement it. Get back into that same spirit which she had adopted back in college. It wouldn't be easy, given that she had allowed herself to be affected by others almost throughout her life but this was what needed to be done. This was what she needed.

All these thoughts made her want to face-palm herself.

She really was an idiot. Somewhere, deep inside, she already knew whatever Arnav had told her but she overlooked them for a long time, focusing on other things instead. Who knew, that the one making her realise what her priorities should be, would be The Arnav Singh Raizada? The idea of having the mysterious fashion icon as her personal counsellor was so weird, she almost laughed.

Thankfully, laughter was out of question when they were having that heartfelt conversation.

Khushi did not only process what Arnav was saying in accordance to her experience but she also noted the way he was talking. His words were tinged with a hint of bitterness, a lingering sadness visible in his eyes. He spoke vehemently, as if he knew all about being crushed by unfair judgments from the world. Khushi had wondered then whether that was the reason why he stayed away from the media, and pondered further about what had happened to him. But she knew better than to ask.

Nonetheless, that conversation left her feeling better than she’d felt in a while and the best of all, Arnav Singh Raizada didn’t seem all so bad. She was kind of glad about how things turned out and even though she was awake the whole night, it was with her mind and heart both rested.

Therefore, she was once again not prepared for the heart attack she got when Arnav wouldn’t wake up.

She couldn’t describe what she had felt then. It was more than panic, more than fear. It was something that sent her in a frenzy as she ran around like a maniac—leaving shawls and marking the ground in her wake as she desperately searched for help. The memory of him limp and cold in her arms made her chest hurt so bad that she kept feeling dizzy, falling here and there as she wandered fretfully.

She didn’t even take time to thank God for some good luck at last when she saw the road and met Mr, and Mrs. Govind. She didn’t think about anything else. Her focus was on Arnav, on making sure he was okay. She didn’t even register what was being said to her, refused to leave his side until he opened his eyes and denied the demands of her body for some rest. She didn’t care about herself, just him.

So, when he finally opened his eyes, it was as if she had been the one unconscious and was now finally waking up, with her senses settling in place at last. She had felt so relieved that she flung herself at him, holding on for dear life.

It was when she was in the shower, with her nerves finally cooling down, that she realised her concern for him was not just because she felt responsible for leading him in that forest. She didn’t just feel guilt at failing to care for him. She felt something else. Something much more painful, much more intense. It dawned on her that she was actually going crazy at the thought of something happening to him, at the thought of losing him—

And that was where she forced her thoughts to stop. She was ashamed enough for having held him like that. Feeling this way about him was just too much, it was off-limits. Besides, they were together for just a few more hours at most. After that, they would both be back in their respective lives, without each other.

She forcibly convinced herself that that was a good thing, then hated the fact that she had to put so much effort in liking the idea of being away from him.

“Oh for heaven’s sake, get a grip on yourself!” She snapped at herself and then decided that things were indeed going in the correct direction. They were both safe and now, they’d be back home. This was good, this was what she wanted.

And so once again she allowed herself to feel optimistic as she closed her eyes for a nap. And once again, she was wrong for thinking that her bad luck had ran out.

A sudden boom was what jolted her out of her sleep and she sat bolt upright, her heart almost jumping out of her throat. Next to her, Arnav sat up too, cursing loudly.

The sound was coming from the door. Someone was knocking frantically.

Arnav rushed to check it and as soon as he unlatched the door, Mrs. Govind stumbled inside, her eyes round with panic.

“They’re here!” She screeched.

“Who?” Arnav demanded, looking as baffled as Khushi felt.

“Those wretched goons!” Mrs. Govind replied, her eyes going wider than Khushi thought was possible. “I think they’re the same ones who attacked you! They were asking for a boy and a girl who match your description! We told them there’s no one like that here but they are demanding to stay! There are about a dozen of them and I saw a few carrying guns. You both need to run!”

An icy cold feeling shot up Khushi’s spine. She hurriedly stood up, though her knees were shaking, as Arnav marched towards the window.

“Are—are you sure they are goons?” She asked, hoping against hope that it was a mistake. She was not ready to deal with those troll-like creatures again. She had enough bad memories from her encounter with merely three of them.

Before Mrs. Govind could answer, Arnav turned around and gripped Khushi’s hand.

“It’s them.” He confirmed. His voice was even and his face was composed but Khushi knew from his tight hold that he was panicking too. “One of the three that attacked us, he’s outside, along with a couple his friends.”

“They are surrounding this whole place!” Mrs. Govind shrilled, “They think they’re slick but I know what they’re trying to do! We need to hurry up, Raj-ji is waiting for us at the back door. We’ll have to get you out of here while we still can!” She grabbed Khushi’s hand, her eyes earnest as she added, “Listen, just run away from here, okay? We’ll take these hooligans down by hook or by crook!”

“But,” Khushi tried to protest but Mrs. Govind held up her hand.

“They won’t do anything until they’re sure you two are here. But once they are convinced that you are not here, I’m sure they’ll want to leave peacefully but don’t worry. I’ve informed one of our guests to try and contact the police. We’ll get these ruffians where they belong!”

“She’s right, Khushi.” Arnav said, the faintest hint of agitation in his voice, “Everyone’s in danger as long as we’re here. We need to move.”

Khushi wanted to protest, tell him that they should stay here and make sure everyone is fine. An even crazier idea of surrendering themselves in exchange for everyone’s safety crossed her mind but she shook herself out of it. This was not a movie. She had to be logical, she had to run away before they are noticed and before those goons unleash their inner trolls.

With her heart hammering, she exited the room on tip toes along with Mrs. Govind and Arnav.

She pressed herself closer to Arnav, caring less about how she would feel later on for doing so and Arnav, without any hesitation, held her close and tight too. They had a few close calls, with some of the goons strolling down the corridors but finally, they reached the back door where Mr. Govind was waiting for them.

“The Shah family knocked one out.” He informed him, looking a little more excited than worried, “He’s all tied up in the bathroom now. The word is slowly spreading. Soon, we’ll knock them all out, those wretched ruffians!”

He turned to Arnav, now looking apologetic, “The car we had kept ready for you is at the parking lot and they’ve kept a really tight watch there. But, there’s one car at the back here. It’s an old one but I think it’s enough to get you at a safe distance. Besides, it’s the only way...this is the only part of the motel that they’ve left unsupervised for the moment. So, hurry, here you go!” He offered Arnav the car keys.

Arnav nodded. Khushi could feel his body shaking as he took the keys. “Thank you. For everything.” He murmured coarsely, his eyes darting from Mr. Govind to his wife and back, “And please, take care.”

“Oh, don’t worry!” Mr. Govind waved his hand, “I know all about these types of people. They won’t go full crazy until they see the ones they’re looking for. Besides, we’ll detain them before they even think of doing anything sketchy! We just hope we’re able to contact the police with this bloody buffering mobile signal!” He allowed his face to wrinkle in distaste for a moment, then opened the door wide open.

Outside, the wind howled. The downpour looked harsh and almost unforgiving. Amidst the thick droplets of rain and the falling darkness, the pale blue car parked at a distance was barely visible.

Mrs. Govind gave them an umbrella but Khushi knew it didn’t stand a chance against this storm. Yet, this venture into nature seemed a thousand times more inviting than dealing with what was waiting for them at this motel.

She took a deep breath when Arnav tugged at her hand, and nodded. Together, they ran.

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