Nothing But Hate

Chapter Forty Three

When Tucker got in his car, the last place he wanted to go to was his empty apartment. He was frustrated, guilty and angry. And he had no one to blame but himself. As he drove, he wondered when his life got so complicated.

For as long as he could remember, all Tucker did was work, drink and sleep. He went out with his friends, he enjoyed time with his family, and dated around till he got bored and moved on. Life was good, life was sorted. But then entered Callum.

In one way or the other, life became better once Tucker accepted his feelings for the other man. Sure, they had their ups and downs, but he had never felt as happy as he did whenever he was in Callum's company. The highs were incredible, and the lows were equally as devastating.

Maybe subconsciously this was one of the reasons he never got serious with anyone. He knew that feeling came at a price. And this was it. But as cliché as it sounds, he let his walls down with Callum, only for him to now feel buried in the remnants of what once stood tall and strong.

Tucker felt an itch inside him, and he very well knew what that meant. He wanted to go out for a drink. And he knew if he went back home alone nothing would stop him from downing a bottle and wallowing in his own misery. He could only think of one person right now that could help him in state, so he drove to Aurora's apartment.

Despite him not having been her place in a long, long time, Aurora wasn't surprised when Tucker knocked at her door. She had heard the news too, and was waiting for Tucker to reach out. She made tea as she told him that Jaime was still at work and it was just the two of them.

Tucker was fidgeting, his hands wouldn't stay still as he took the mug full of tea handed to him by his secretary. Aurora sat down next to him on the couch, worried at Tucker's state. She knew Callum affected him greatly, but the extent of it was a cause of concern.

"I told him that I knew. About his father and the FBI," Tucker said and Aurora mouth formed an 'Oh' as she realised what was the issue, "He didn't take it well."

"Was he angry that you didn't tell him before?" Aurora asked and Tucker shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't think he was angry but more.. disappointed? I think that's worse. He didn't want me there. Told me to leave." Tucker answered.

"This was obviously a huge shock to him, Tucker. He probably just needs time to process it all. Figure out what he's going to do." Aurora rationalised.

"I just thought.. I just thought when he finally gets to know then I would at the very least be there for him, you know? I obviously can't help him in a legal capacity here but I just thought I could be there for support. Make up for not telling him earlier. But he doesn't even want me near him." Tucker gripped rhe mug tighter as he finished.

"He'll understand. He must know the repercussions you would've faced had you told him. And if his father didn't want him involved then it wasn't your place to say anything anyway." Aurora said.

"I know. I know all of this and I know what I did wasn't wrong but I still can't help but feel so.. so fucking guilty," Tucker sighed, "Like I could've saved him from this pain but I did nothing. Ignored it all till it came to slap him in the face."

"You can't solve all the problems in the world, Tucker. His father dug his own grave and he's paying the price now. He has a shit load of resources and there's nothing Callum could've done had he known either." Aurora said.

"I don't feel guilty about his father getting arrested," Tucker scoffed, "He deserves it. But Callum doesn't deserve this."

"You can't choose your parents," Aurora paused, "You feel guilty because you can't help Callum feel better. But like I said, you can't solve all the problems in the world. Just give him some time to process things, he'll come back to you."