My promise to him

Chapter 14

The room goes silent, "All clear...and shocking once," the doctor calls and everyone backs away and there's a massive thud. There's a moment of silence which seems like hours as the doctor checks for a pulse, "No pulse," my heart stops, "All clear...and shocking twice," the doctor call again. No one moves as the second thud fills the room. 

"No pulse," The doctor sighs rubbing his hands over his forehead. 

I walk forward squeezing Em's hand, "C'mon Em please," I beg, the urgency in my voice pounding round the room. I let go of her hand as he doctors prepares the last shock, "All clear...last shock."

 My heavy breaths pound in my ears like a drum. There's a thud again and the doctor puts his fingers to her neck...

Emma's P.O.V

I feel dozy as the memories of Dad full my mind. I remember one Christmas when dad was at the table and he was playing cards with me after lunch. The warm fire, lighting up the room. I watch him as he smiles placing down his cards laughing. The table sways in front of me then he disappears, "Dad?" I call, "Where did you go?" 

I walk around the swaying room as the walls fall back revealing a park. I see mum sat under the tree smiling as dad wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses her like they were teenagers. I hear a shout of laughter and I see 8-year-old Louie and 5-year-old Olly playing tag in the trees. I laugh as I run through the long grass towards them. There's a thud like an earthquake and everything goes black.

Suddenly I hear a voice, it's a man's voice. "We-We've got a pulse," it says. My body aches but I can't open my eyes and I just lay there. The exhaustion makes me fall asleep.

3 weeks later (Emma has been asleep for 3 weeks)

When I do open my eyes, the light blinds me as my eyes adjust to the lights. I take in my surroundings, I'm in a different room. I see Olly leaning on his hand asleep on one side of the room arm around mum who's leaning on him asleep as well with exhaustion. I look for Zack but he isn't there. 

Louie is on a chair though pulled up to the bed. His arms leaning on the metal railing by the sides of my bed but he's awake. He catches my eye and immediately his face lights up he grabs my hand and I manage to squeeze it. He grins. I move my hand up moving the mask of my face. 

"What h-happened?" I say quietly. He uses his other hand to softly move the mask back on, "You got really confused and then stopped breathing, you've been asleep for 3 weeks" he whispers. Wait! I've been asleep for 3 weeks?!?  He looks serious for a second, and I notice that he has water in his eyes, I've hardly ever seen Louie cry, he's the oldest one, and he's the strong protective one. 

It suddenly hits me how much I need him and that it must be a lot of pressure looking after everyone all the time. Always being there. I feel a strong urge to cry but I'm too weak and exhausted. "I am so, so sorry Em, this is all my fault," he says, I shake my head, my heart burning in my chest for him, wanting so badly to tell him that it's not his fault but I don't have the energy and anyway he ignores it, "It is Em, I made a promise that I would look out for you and I should have known what was going on, it is my responsibility to see these things. I-I promise you, it won't happen again, nothing like it." 

Tears prickle at my eyes and I want so badly to wrap my arms around his chest and sink into him, tell him it's alright and I forgive him and it's not his fault- but I can't, I'm so tired. He stands up to sit on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around me whist I lean into his chest. 

I notice he's shaking, like he is nervous. I look up at him expectantly and he takes a deep breath. I'm immediately on edge, this is serious. 

"Em, i've got something to tell you..." he whispers, nearly crying.