Behind the psycho || Rafe Cameron x Reader || OBX fanfic

nine

If only I had slept for a little longer.

When I peeled open my eyes, pain shot through my body. I was barely able to move my legs without them hurting. I tortuously walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My lips were bruised and my neck was filled with dark marks. I looked down at my legs and saw they were ten times worse. They were shaking even as I stood up and there was a long line of dried blood on the inside of my thigh. I held my face in my hands and remembered what happened. Holy shit. 

I hopped in and out of the shower quickly since any sort of pressure hurt my skin. I pulled on a hoodie and baggy pants to cover everything. I couldn't move without walking like a penguin. How am I going to face Rafe? He shouldn't see me affected or...I don't know what the hell he'll do.

I knew the universe hated me when I opened my door. Rafe stood there, hair ruffled and his hand right where the doorknob was. "I was about to bring you some tea," he said and looked at me with blazing eyes. Don't be affected. I squeezed my legs together and reached my hand for the tea. He pulled his hand away and ordered, "Something wrong?" He could see right through me. Rafe looked at me up and down. His blue eyes lingered on my neck. "Why are you wearing those clothes?" he asked like he didn't know and forced himself into the room. Rafe went to the closet and pulled out the shortest pants and the shortest tank top he could find. "It's really hot today," he looked at me with heated eyes. I stepped back when he stood in front of me and dipped down to my face. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for what he was about to do, but I heard him breathe next to my ear, "Your tea's getting cold."

* * * * *

I drank down my tea in a second. It filled me with some warmth as I sat on my bed. Rafe stood in front of me, watching me hurt with every movement. He rubbed his lower lip as he annoyingly said, "That was your first time, wasn't it?" I didn't answer because I didn't need to. He walked away from me and ran his hands through his hair angrily. "Why didn't you tell me?" he turned to me.

I almost laughed at that. What was he going to do? 

I shrugged at him. "Does it matter?" 

Rafe rolled his eyes and looked at me impatiently, "What do you mean 'does it matter'?" He closed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

Suddenly I forgot how to speak. My mouth opened to form words, but they drowned in my throat.

"You can't even move!" he waved his hand at me. 

Rafe clenched his jaw and walked out of the room. What the actual fuck was he saying? Why the hell does he care? I bet he's gone now to snort all of his problems away. I sighed heavily and stayed in my room all day.

* * * * *

My body hurt less today, but I still isolated myself. For two days I was thinking of what Rafe said. Did he really mean it? Why has he changed so much? Even though he was a sociopath whose mood changed every second, there was something that just...pulled me to him. Like a hopeless piece of iron to a magnet. Whenever he even looked at me, my heart would pound uncontrollably. I hated the way he made me feel. I hated it. 

And it always reminded me that my mind and body were enemies. But what about my heart? 

Rafe didn't feel anything. He was a liar and a criminal and he killed someone and he put a gun to my head and...I shouldn't care about him. His actions, his choices, they're all bad. But why can't I leave? Why can't I just go out the door and run? He wouldn't come after me. I would be free. Why couldn't I just get up and walk away? Why? Why? 

He had a cold heart and was absolutely insane. So why do I feel this way for him?

It's because I've fallen for a complete lie. None of his words was real. They were fake and made up and he didn't mean any of them. What happened a few nights ago was a lie. He didn't care.