Being in ssecond place is the worst standing of all time. Because you're so close to being first, but still, fall short of first place.
By first place I don't mean just like in sports or studies. No, I mean in relationships. No, not just romantic relationships but friendly relationships.
For example, I have always been second-place in friendships. I would always be someone's second-choice. I was never first in their eyes. There would have always been someone more interesting, more attractive, something more than I am.
And - get this - it hurts. It hurts way more than I had ever thought something could hurt.
Being in second sucks even in families. Second-born child must at least surpass the first-born's achievements. The second-born must bear the weight of everyone's expectations to do better, to improve.
All my life, I'd been second-place, the next best friend. Never the first, oh no. There is always someone better, cooler, funnier. No matter how much I try, I'm still second. In my family, I'm second and also the last. My brother wasn't smart but somehow my parents brainwashed themselves into thinking he was a prodigy. And - unfortunately - that I am too. And so, I am subjected to study an extra, completely unneeded language and under an immense amount of pressure.
In conclusion, I'd rather be dead-last than be in second-place.
I am so sorry for the bad quality of my work recently. I don't really know what to write about now. Can any of you tell me what I should write? Like, what do you want to read? Poetry? Short stories? Rants like this one? Please tell me. Thanks for reading and sticking with me for so long. You guys are the best.
