Side note before we proceed: I don't think I have written about my bipolar disorder, have I? But anyway, yes I have bipolar disorder and the following is a true story that happened to me. I hope you enjoy :)
On a normal, peaceful day, she walked to her class as per usual. Her spirits were high as she reached her destination. She set down her bag and wrote a few things on her hand - things that she doesn't want to forget, feelings she wants to remember.
A familiar silhouette stood in front of her. She looked up with a quirk on her lips. The boy smiled in immediate response. He took his place beside me and we sat in silence as a few boys behind us talked about a game. He nudged her to catch her attention. The boy pointed towards one of her friends who was asleep. They grinned at each other as they planned their diabolical scheme without words.
A moment later, they sneaked up to her friend's chair to take the bottle which hung from it and made a mad dash to the next class to hide it. This was a daily routine for them but it never ceased to exhilarate them. As they walked back to their own class laughing like maniacs, the girl - as if someone had switched something off - stopped smiling.
A look of worry passed the boy's face. "Something wrong?" The girl turned to him with tears in her eyes and mumbled to herself, "Not at all." He scrunched up his face in frustration. The boy opened his mouth as he started to say something but immediately closed it again.
He tugged her sleeve to hurry her along. He wasn't met with resistance but kept tugging at her sleeve, as if he was trying to jerk her away from the demons and darkness in her mind. As they neared the classroom, he let go of her sleeve for her to make her choice - to go into the classroom to all those amazing people or to go to the bathroom to potential bullies.
Obviously, she chose the easy way. The pair entered the classroom only to be welcomed by a sea of smiling faces and a friendly type of noise. He flinched as he saw her build up more of her walls right there. Her face which was so raw with emotion a second ago, was now a mask of indifference. A pained look flashed on his face as he tugged on her sleeve again. The tug was met with a blank look which sent chills down his spine every time he saw it.
It had always interested him how she managed to give her eyes such a blank and lifeless look. Actually, he just doesn't know that she doesn't do it on purpose.
To her, to me, this disorder is just another side of 'Li Yan'. I have had this disorder for as long as I can remember and maybe even longer. Bipolar disorder has cost me a lot of things like my friends, reputation, time, tears as well as blood.
Bipolar disorder is like having a faulty switch in your brain. Like, you have the switch on happy mode and then when you least expect it, it switches to extremely depressed mode. I have used a lot of excuses when I have had my disorder act up - headaches, fever, lack of sleep, stomach pains - anything to satisfy the people's curiosity.
Side note: I may or may not write a more descriptive entry about bipolar disorder. This entry is pretty messy because I'm writing this on my phone instead of on my computer. So anyway, hope this was good enough for you and stay amazing
