A Midsummer Night's Dream

24

DIANA, TEN YEARS LATER

I rushed down the streets of New York City, speed-walking past street venders, shawarma stands, people in suits and teenagers with their skateboards.

I felt a cold autumn breeze hit my legs and cursed myself for making the mistake of wearing a skirt with my suit instead of dress pants. The cold air was harsh on my legs but soothing in my lungs. I took a deep breath of the crisp late morning air and relaxed myself of my hurry.

Mid-October in Manhattan was always a dream. I could let my eyes soak in those scarlet maple-hands and the golden leaves that create more beauty than I'd ever dare ask for.

My cell phone beeped in my suit jacket pocket and I quickly pulled it out and sighed as I picked up the phone from my boss's assistant. "Hey Holly, I know, I know I'm late. I swear I got caught up with something."

"Diana, how many times do I have to tell you to be on time. Mr. Jameson is started to get angry and I don't know how much longer I can hold him down from firing you."

"I know and I can't thank you enough Holly. It's just... I've been so preoccupied with organizing the birthday gift for my aunt. It's taken up so much time."

"Diana, you're job is on the line! Mr. Jameson is going to call in new photographers for the Daily Bugle and next thing you know some middle aged dude has replaced you!"

"Don't scare me Hol. You know how much I love this job and I still need to ask Mr. Jameson for a loan to afford the photo shoot for my Aunt's brand. Marilyn is turning 75! Three quarters of a century and I need to make this birthday special for her."

"I know... it's gonna be hard but if you say you really want to do it... I guess I'll be there to support you." Holly sighed on the other side of the phone.

"You know it means the world to me."

"Okay I get it. Make sure you're ready for the shoot and you have the clothes and models and I'll let Mr. Jameson know about it."

I made a mental reminder to hire some models and call my aunt's manager to send me some clothes.

Holly continued to ramble on the phone about how Mr. Jameson is going to fire me and that he might not give me the loan.

I looked at a poster hung on the wall outside a bookstore I was walking past.

I stopped in my tracks when I read the title of the book and the author's name.

"Holly I'll call you back. Something just came up but I swear I'll be at the office in a bit." I said and hung up before she could object.

My mind was racing with thoughts and I gulped as I walked to the door of the bookstore and glanced inside. Dozens of people were gathered for the release of the new book on the poster. In the centre of the store, a makeshift stage was set up from where someone was talking to the audience.

Some people moved out of the way from blocking my view and then I saw who was standing on the stage.

Theodore. My heart dropped seeing his beautiful face again. He looked the same yet so different at the same time. His hair was shorter and more well kept. He had grown a small beard and had filled into his clothes. He was wearing a blue suit and loafers. I looked at his eyes and saw the same teenage boy I had fallen in love with. My eyes welled with tears as the memories of that summer hit me. How long had it been? 10 years?

"A Midsummer Night's Dream was the first novel I ever wrote. I started it in the summer of 1985." He took a pause and continued, "this novel is very dear to my heart since the story of Thomas and Daphne is very dear to my heart. You see, I experienced it myself during the summer of 1985. Sixteen year old Theodore fell in love with this American girl. She changed my life forever to the point where I wrote a whole novel about her that summer." He said and everyone chuckled.

I smiled when I realized that brown notebook he used to write in was for this book. He was writing a story about us. I shook my head as I remembered my younger self wondering why he was hiding it. He wanted it to be a surprise.

As I watched him standing in that podium, I realized how long it had been. For a few years after that summer I thought about him continuously everyday and after that I only missed him and for the last few years he had been resolved to a sweet memory in the back of my mind which I came to on nights I couldn't sleep. But seeing him here, 10 years later, I felt hurt. It ached being so close to him yet being untouchable. My heart ached and the pain was slowly creeping up, the pain of loosing him. The way nostalgia hurts long after we've stopped thinking of things we've lost and may never have cared for.

My eyes swept the room and they landed on a woman sitting in the front row with a little boy and a baby. Cecilia.

Despite everything, I felt a sting in my heart. Was I sad? Longing? Or was it that I was jealous of his family, of the life he'd made for himself, or the things I never shared and couldn't possibly have known about? Things he had longed for, loved, and lost, and whose loss had crushed him, but whose presence in his life, when he had them, I wasn't there to witness and wouldn't know the first thing about. I wasn't there when he finished his book, graduated, had kids. Or was it, much simpler? I had looked to see if something was still there, to see if I still felt something, if something was still alive. The trouble was that something was there. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but feel my love for him crawling up. He was still my Theodore, the love of my life and my soulmate. No one compared, he stood alone.

As silence fell over the room, I realized he had stopped talking and was staring directly at me. It hit me that I really was here in-front of my Cupid again. 10 years later. As we stared into each others eyes from 20 feet away, I whispered his name "Theodore". I longed for him, I did. A small smile spread upon his lips and I felt my heart flutter. I imagined our whole life in that moment. Me staying in Eguisheim for him, us at the spring everyday together, eating peaches and dancing our teenage years away, then graduating and getting married at the beach. Having our little children run around our little home. We could have had it all.

I saw Cecilia come over and hug Theodore, oblivious that I was here and my eyes drifted to her. She was just as beautiful as she was 10 years ago. I felt guilt as I tried to remember how long ago the letters had stopped. Was she angry? Did she think I got bored of her? Had I?

My eyes drifted back to Theodore who was still staring, fixated at me despite being hugged by his wife and now his kids too.

A security guard approached me and tapped my shoulder. "Ma'am you're either going to have to come in to get the book or leave immediately. You're blocking the doorway. A Midsummer Night's Dream can be read and purchased if you come inside." He said, sternly.

"It's alright... I already know what happens." I smiled at the man who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

I looked at Theodore one last time, his eyes were still fixed on me. I nodded at him and he nodded back and sniffled. Cecilia said something to him and he looked over at her finally. She laughed and he chuckled a little at what she said and then he picked up his little son and the boy hugged his father tightly.

A happy ending. It suits him. I couldn't stay long enough to be his happy ending. So I'm glad he found a new one.

As I called for a cab to take me to work I realized something. I think that perhaps everyone has a moment that splits their life in two. When you look back on your own time line there's a sharp spike somewhere along the way, some event that changed you, changed your life more than the others. A moment that creates a before and an after. Maybe it's when you meet your love or you figure out your life's passion or you have your first child. Maybe it's something wonderful. Maybe it's something tragic. But when it happens it tints your memories, shifts your perspective on your own life and it suddenly seems as if everyone you've been through falls under the label of pre or post. For me it was pre and post him, he set the climax of my life. Despite my boyfriend, Jackson, at home who loved me, the teenage boy from the little village in southern France was my everything and everyone and even though we fell apart in this life, I knew for sure we would remain together in the next and every one after that, my soul would be with him in the end, a sweet fantasy amongst the billions of souls in this universe.