Breaking Cycles

Chapter 7

Grant

I sit on the couch, my whole body still vibrating from the feel of her underneath my fingertips. The moment she laid her hands on me, I knew I was screwed. I had to take control. I had to kiss her, take some of what I want, while trying not to scare her away. A light flick of my tongue is all it took for me to realize a small taste would never be enough. Although, I don't regret what happened, I'm almost glad I fell. It fucking hurt, but I can handle it. I always do, but I needed something to happen to drag me back to my reality.

Heaving a sigh, I drop my head back against the back of the couch. I need to be honest with her before getting in too deep. I can already tell she's the type of woman who could make me lose control and I can't let that happen. I need to set some boundaries, especially with me sharing Ella's space, even if it is only temporary. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings between us.

She walks back into the room, giving me a hesitant smile as she hands me a glass of water and some pain medicine. "Here," she offers.

"Thanks," I mumble, my fingers lightly brushing hers as I wrap my fingers around the glass. Keeping my gaze on her, I gulp half of the water down. Then, I take one more sip, set the glass on the table and reach for the pill. I toss the pain killer in my mouth and swallow, hoping it works quickly. I set the glass down on the coffee table as I watch her lowering herself into the chair across from me.

"So, do you need anything else?" she questions awkwardly. I shake my head in response, trying to figure out how I want to start this conversation. "Please tell me if there's anything I can do to help. I'm kinda' lost being on this side of things," she admits, piquing my curiosity.

"You mentioned something about that before. Any chance you'd be willing to share why?" I prompt.

She grimaces and concedes, "I got sick a lot when I was younger, and I ended up at the doctor a lot. I guess you could say I'm used to having someone trying to take care of me, but I'm not quite sure what to do when it's the other way around."

"What do you mean sick?" I prod, wanting to know if it's more than she's insinuating.

Shaking her head, she replies, "It's really not a big deal. I just want to help you and I know I never liked people smothering me. Anyway," she says, changing the subject. I relent knowing it's none of my business. I don't want to push her for information about herself, when I'm not willing to reciprocate anything revealing about myself. "Are you sure you don't want to see the guest room?"

"Right now, the less I move around the better," I answer honestly. "Plus, I don't think seeing you in any bedroom is a good idea at the moment," I tease. My words bring the instant flush to her cheeks I hoped for.

"Um, about what happened outside," she begins, making me grimace. "I'm not apologizing," she swiftly spits out. "I promised myself I would live without regret and I'm not going to go back on that promise."

"Ella," I quickly interrupt. I'm not sure where she's headed with this, but I need to take control of this conversation. I need her to know what kind of man I am and let her decide what she wants. "Listen, I greatly appreciate what you're doing for me and if I get in your way or if you change your mind at any time about having me here, I'd understand."

"Okay..." she mumbles, drawing out the word.

"I think it's obvious I'm extremely attracted to you. I want you, Ella," I state simply, enjoying the pink coloring her cheeks, "but I'm telling you now, I don't stay in one place for long and that's not changing. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to stay here, but I do know it's what I want," I emphasize. "What I don't know is what do you want?"