𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 (𝐣𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝)

seventeen- madness on the brain

"alas! they had been friends in youth,
but whispering tongues can poison truth; and consistency lives in realms above, and life is thorny, and youth is vain; and to be wroth with one we love, doth work like
madness on the brain.

samuel taylor coleridge

jesse pov:
i wake up fully clothed on marcus' couch surrounded by sleeping girls with messy hair and make up. i get up and find marcus- hes still asleep.

i shake him, "marcus, marcus".
"whoa jess calm down" he says in a sleepy voice. "what the fuck happened last night?" i said worried. "I don't know bro, i can't remember" he says also looking shocked. the girls from the other room sneak out, we see them but let them go.

i pull my phone out from my pocket

sofia 🧚🏼‍♂️
22 missed calls
sofia 🧚🏼‍♂️
4 voicemails
sofia 🧚🏼‍♂️
we're finished jess

there it was in writing, "we're finished jess". a tear fell from my eye as marcus read the message over my shoulder, i promised sofia i would go home last night. and i betrayed her, maybe we are not meant to be, maybe i don't deserve her- despite this i call her.

after one ring it goes to voicemail.

jesse ❤️
sofia please ring me, i love you. im sorry.

!message not delivered!

she's blocked me, i had one chance and ive blew it. after some consideration. i decide to give sofia some space. after all im the one in the wrong.

i leave marcus' house and drive to mine. its empty. silent. i open a bottle of vodka and drink it straight. i don't know if i can live much longer without sofia but hopefully one day we will begin to realise we are better off without each other.

sofia pov:
the morning after jesse never returned home, is a morning i will never forget. the feelings of isolation and sadness made me unable to function and i spend the day crying and listening to sad music feeling sorry for myself.

i was angry. but i was so sad. i blocked jesse's number and instagram in hopes he wouldn't contact me for a while- maybe one day we will work. but not anytime soon.

a wise person once told me that most people who think they are in love are actually in love with the idea of love- it really resonated with me and i began to realise i was better off without jesse. i was holding him back and we would only end up getting our hearts broken. we were different, too different. it would never work. i told myself.

it will never work.

i sat down, still with tears in my eyes and listened to my old spotify playlist for the first time in years.

now playing: she knows- j.cole
lyrics:
bad things happen to the people you love and you find yourself praying up to heaven above, but honestly ive never had so much sympathy
cause those bad things i always saw them coming for me

listening to my old music made me upset, it reminded me off bad times in the past and only made me more depressed than i already was. i switched off the music and sat in silence for a while- staring at the stars hoping that one day someone will look at me the way i looked at them.

a/n hope you enjoyed this chapter!! thank you so much for reading 🤍
we see a big change in the storyline over the next few chapters and i can't wait to write them!! its my birthday so i might not update but juicy chapters are coming your way very soon 👀👀
lots of love- a xoxo