Epilogue

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♦️


Dear Tartaglia,


I should've told you then.

I should've let you know.

I should've given you the peace of mind.

I'll never forget the look in your eyes as you gazed at me one last time.

I never once disliked you.

I'm sorry.

I tried everything.


We were going to do so much together.

Eat out at restaurants,

watch movies together,

go to the lantern rite festival hand in hand,

grow old together.



I cried, and cried, and cried.

But that didn't bring you back.


I begged, I begged Celestia, I begged the stars, the sky, anything that was over the gods.

But that didn't bring you back.


I screamed, and screamed, until my throat went hoarse.

But that didn't bring you back.


I gave away my gnosis in exchange for the antidote.

But even that didn't bring you back.


Then I tried going to you.

But how is a god supposed to kill himself?

Nothing worked.


It's funny, isn't it?

Rex Lapis, the god of geo, who slayed many gods in battle.. grieving over a human?

Sacrificing everything for a human?


I lost my pride, I lost everything, when I lost you.




I didn't want the support of my friends.

I didn't want the love of the citizens of Liyue.

All I wanted

was to feel your soft touch

one last time.


Every single day.

I wonder if things could've been different?

If we had never met..

would we have been happier?

Would we have found happiness equivalent to what we gave to each other?

The feelings I felt with you, albeit short lived, could I have ever felt those with someone else?


Perhaps this is karma.

Karma for the sins I have committed.

Perhaps even a god isn't immune to the wrath of karma.


But you didn't deserve it.

You were only fulfilling your duty.


If I had known that things would've turned out like this, 

I would've made sure you enjoyed every single moment of your life, hell, I would've given you my gnosis, if it meant getting to stay with you.

I would've told you the truth. 

I would've told you that Signora had laced that knife with poison.


Over the course of my life, 

I have watched many people, mortals and gods alike, pass away.

It hurts the most

when they pass regrettably.


How stupid of me, to let the one man I loved more than anyone

to die with so many regrets.


Was it painful?

Leaving, without wanting to..

My biggest sin.


I cannot call myself the God of Contracts, when my first broken contract was with the very person I had vowed to protect.


I want to see you one last time.

I want to apologise.

I want to tell you

that I love you.


I want to ask something of you, Tartaglia, one last time.

Please wait for me in Celestia. 

Whether it take 10 years, or a hundred, 

We will be reunited.


-Zhongli.



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