Skai Prisa - English version

Chapter 12

Lexa pov:

The moon shines illuminating the night. Luckily today is not as cold as yesterday. The freezing weather is becoming impossible to tolerate, if I could I would leave now. But several things stop me. A possible rebellion, the fact that we are surrounded, a blonde princess who has beautiful blue eyes, as deep as.......

"Lexa, focus. To be a commander is to be alone. Remember, love is weakness." The commanders reprimand me.

They are right, I must concentrate. A war is at our doors and I am thinking of someone else. I sigh. I wish everything was easier. It's been so long since I've received affection. My parents are gone and I don't have any friends either. I'm alone. Despite having physical encounters with women, none have aroused as much interest as Clarke does.

Since I met her so many years ago, she has caught my attention. Now that she is no longer a girl, that she has become a woman, I cannot stop seeing her with different eyes. However, for a long time I have not allowed myself to do what I want, but what is best for my people. And this does not bring any benefit. On the contrary, my own people would label me weak. Even, I have no doubt they would try to assassinate me. The only way to find a new commander is for the old one to die. A sudden death is all they need.

I hear footsteps and I know it's her, before she leans on the railing a few inches to my left. Like last night, neither can sleep. Mutual company seems to reassure us both. I get slightly nervous in her presence. I haven't come across her since the afternoon, she didn't show up for dinner. Neither was her brother, I gather she was with him.

"Why do you want me as your advisor?" She asks, breaking the silence.

Oh, sure. My proposal. I had forgotten. The fact that I am developing feelings for her makes it difficult to have to spend so much time together. More than difficult, uncomfortable. But I cannot allow myself to think with my heart, I must think with my head. And my reason tells me that having Clarke as an advisor is a good decision. A very good one.

"Because you are one of the best warriors and strategists I have ever met. And here you waste that talent." And because I want to know you. Okay, that last thing I didn't say out loud. I mentally berate myself for even thinking about it.

She smiles at me a little. "Thanks for the compliment, Heda. I will consider your offer." I frown at her answer. I thought she would accept immediately. She seems to notice my confusion. "Don't get me wrong, it's the best chance I've ever been given. But accepting it would mean leaving Azgeda, my family." Sadness adorns her face now. The very idea of ​​separating seems to affect her.

I nod without understanding. I'm not emotionally dependent on anyone, so I don't know what it's like to miss someone you care about. I pity myself before pushing those thoughts away. Remember Lexa, love is weakness. I return my thoughts to the rebels. Clarke's plan is brilliant, but risky. We rely on the conjecture that they lied about their number of warriors. The nerves invade me. If they win, they will have taken Azgeda. Conquering the capital is equivalent to conquering an entire clan.

"Nervous about the battle?" She asks me with a cocky smirk. I am amazed at her ability to read me so easily.

"A little." There's no use lying to her, she would know. "If we lose, we're dead." She nods in agreement.

"Then let's not lose," She affirms.

We fall back into our comfortable silence. I don't know why I know we'll see each other every night. It is as if we have made an unspoken agreement, completely silent. I like the idea, even though I know I shouldn't. But I am not forbidden to feel, but to demonstrate it. It's only been two days since I arrived and it's been enough to creep into my worries. What will she do to me these days?