Almost

The first love

5. 1. 2019

School started again, my final year.

Everyone in class knows about what happened to my family, some of them pity me, others call my grandpa a murderer.

Grandpa is just sick, he's not a murderer. I wish they'd stop talking or I'll become a murderer instead.

I hate small towns.

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6. 1. 2019

Jungkook isn't my allocated seatmate anymore, he sits two rows behind me with another girl.

I wish I were that girl.

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12. 1. 2019

I haven't spoken to Jungkook since Christmas, dad got a full time caretaker for grandpa so he can't go to his tree anymore.

Grandpa doesn't recognise me some days, he thinks the baby is dad, he goes looking for grandma, saying the baby looks cold and he doesn't know what to do.

I can see it break dads heart, but what can he do?

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30. 1. 2019

Grandpa taught me how to weave flowers together, he says grandma used to make him little crowns of them whenever they went on dates in parks together.

And she used to make them for my mum too when she was little.

He learnt how to do it after years of watching grandma. He made one for me today.

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14. 2. 2019

Quite a few people got me stuff for Valentines day, the usual, chocolate and roses. Although I appreciate the sentiment flowers make my dads nose itch, I would have to dump them somewhere.

I found grandpa sitting by the tree today, he wanted to spend Valentines day with grandma, I'm guessing he snuck out. Jungkook was there too, playing with dandelions.

He didn't get anything for Valentines day, I gave him all my roses. I think it's his first time receiving something from a girl, he panicked and ate a petal.

I weaved them into a crown for Jungkook, he wore it willingly.

We spent the rest of Valentines day together by the tree until grandpa was ready to go home.

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25. 2. 2019

(Y/m/n) grabbed my hand! She grabbed my hand for her 100-day celebration. She's supposed to pick an item, what she wants to become, she picked my hand that was holding the tray.

I cried on the spot, Taehyung called me a wuss and then cried too.

She looks more like mum everyday.

I love her.

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12. 3. 2019

One week to the wedding, I don't know if I should go, we don't want to trouble Mrs. Min or her son, Yoongi, anymore.

Dad thinks I should take the baby with me, he has to work extra long hours to pay for the caretaker and grandpas meds.

Taking a baby to a big city, all by myself.  Dad has too much trust in me.

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13. 3. 2019

I went to grandpas tree by myself today, maybe grandma can help me out here.

I explained my entire situation to a tree at night ...Jungkook showed up, poking his head our from the other side.