Loving hybrids ✔️

25

Watching the look of fascination appear on Namjoon and Jungkook's faces makes me grin, glad to see that the surprise was a success.

Not too far from home actually, there's an art shop and also a botanic shop, so I went to both places to get stuff for my two sweet hybrids. To thank them for everything they've done for me, a way of apologizing and also because they more than deserve it.

Jungkook had mentioned a few times that he would love to try painting, that it sounds fun and it never left my mind so I bought basic equipment, quality materials, the best paint they had and canvases of different sizes. We could set him up in the living room since there's a corner that isn't really used or in their room if he prefers, I'll leave this choice to him.

As for Namjoon, the last time we went to buy that toaster, one that has yet to be gotten, I think it's clear to say that he has a fascination for plants so I got him a few different kinds, it was fun walking around and trying to imagine which ones would've gotten his attention. I have a feeling he'll love them, especially the special one I got.

I never had the opportunity of doing something like that before, having fun buying surprises for others. My hybrids deserve this type of attention but I didn't want to go too far and be careless, I know that Anthony is now in the wild and far from me the idea of meeting him, I made sure to go to the car company closest to the area protecting me before coming back within safe grounds, which is surprisingly wide, really.

Knowing that my ex can't come here without the police being alerted sure made me feel better about going outside and I don't want to remain too scared to do anything when my goal is to heal. Am I going to avoid living because he might do something? That's only what I believe, but what if he really leaves me alone? What if we never meet again? The unknown makes me uncomfortable, but I know I can't run away forever.

When I'd voiced that concern to Yoongi's psychologist, MJ, he'd said that these worries were normal and justified, I was physically and mentally abused for so long, of course I would expect him to come to me again, to resume what he'd started but he said that most of the time, the victims end up spending their whole life afraid of something that never happens, always wondering when and where it might happen again only to realize at the end of the road that their fear only took them away from happy memories.

When I heard him say that, I told myself that this isn't the life I want. I want to be able to make memories with Jungkook and Namjoon, with the others too, I want to be able to get out of my safe area and not freak out over a possibility, which is why I pushed to leave alone.

I wanted to prove to myself, to allow my brain to process that here is safe. Here is my home and I'm allowed to live freely and if he knows what's good for him, then he'll remain away from me. It's as simple as that. That's what I want anyway. If he really does come back... I'm not alone and I'm going to work hard to not become so easy to control for him. I want to be able to see him and stand my ground, to remain strong and flip him off before leaving.

Now that would be satisfying.

"Is that all for us?!" Jungkook asks, bright eyes shining at me even through the falling darkness. I nod, watching with a smile as he proceeds to grab the bags and run inside while Namjoon is still in awe in front of all the different plants.

I walk over to him and stand besides him to look at the collection of green leaves. "I felt bad that you couldn't get the plants last time so I made sure to get you as many as I could. These are of varying sizes and quite basic but if you look in the car in the back seat, there is a special one that I think you will like" I tell him and his ears flap in curiosity, feet taking him there after eyeing me with silent excitement.