You are my destiny

11

Ashwin's days are blessed with peace these days..One month already passed after they take that big step..Even though shivangi was still distant with him,he is happy that she didn't avoid him..she spend time with him whenever teju was around..Ashwin's depression pills are long forgetten..

Shivangi is still trying to adjust with all this changes in her life..she didn't realise that days are passing fast with all the things happening around her..she is juggling between her work,taking care of teju and on top of that the court case was very hectic..She felt very depressed whenever she faces ajay..Ashwin came like an angel in this situation..He takes care of teju whenever she cant..But still she couldn't open up to him,just because of her insecurities..she is not ready to open up to anyone at this stage..

Its usual play time for teju..Ashwin and shivangi usually take teju to playground and spend sometime with her..Its their routine and their favourite time of the day too..Today they decided to play in shivangi's home because of the rain..shivangi and teju play with toy house when ashwin went to take a call regarding his next project..

"Uncle nenga yar kita pesunenga?you know its our play time right?" Teju asked ashwin when he settled back beside them on the ground..

Shivangi glared at teju "teju..this is bad habbit..uncle periyavanga dana?ipdi pesa kudadu..say sorry"

Teju pouted hearing her mom's scolding..Ashwin smiles seeing that cute pout "vidu ma..ava kozhanda dana..thittada.."

Turning to teju "its okay da teju kutty..uncle inime ipdi pana maten..oru important call vandudu..so uncle poiten..uncle have to work right?Inime inda time teju ku matum dan.."

Teju was curious after he told her about work.." unclee nenga yena work panrenga?amma madiri nengalum paduvengala?"

     Ashwin chuckled " ila teju..amma dan azhaga paduvanga..na oru actor..ne pakura movies la varuvangala ada madiri.."

    "Oh apo nenga kuda spider man madiri agiduvengala?"

     Shivangi tried to control her laugh..Ashwin tried to explain the little girl.."spiderman ila da..but adula vara uncle madiri dan nanum.."

     "Spiderman ilana apo nenga anda bad uncle ah?monster ah?"

     Ashwin was stunned hearing her question..He didn't know how to make that little girl understood..He looked helpless at shivangi..she chuckled seeing his helplessness and decided to help him

    "Teju ma..amma oru idea sollava..Inaiku teju adam panama dinner saptu chamatha irundana nama ashwin uncle act pana oru film pakalam..aprom teju kutty ku therinchidum uncle yarunu..okay?"

      Teju agreed excitedly..After dinner,they settled in a couch to watch his movie..Teju sits between ashwin and shivangi..Ashwin decided to play his first movie to watch..Its his dream to watch his first flim with her..That didn't happen..Atleast he wanted to use this situation to fulfill his dream..

     The flim is romantic comedy..Teju didn't understand anything..she was used to cartoon and disney movies only..Its very new for her..she asked lot of questions to ashwin..He patiently tried to convince his princess with his answer..But he was eagerly waiting for shivangi's reaction..

        He expected her to react something..But she was watching the screen without taking her eyes off the screen..she didn't respond to any of teju's questions too..Ashwin even doubted whether she is watching or not..She didn't react even after watching her brother pugazh too..

       Eventually teju slept in shivangi's lap resting her legs in ashwin's lap..The movie is still running but these two were in their own world ..Silence prevailed except the sound of the movie..Ashwin was confused about shivangi's reaction..He expect some sort of reaction when he decided to play his first movie..shivangi's story is totally different..she felt emotional when his name displayed on the screen as lead..

     Its her dream to shout loudly in a theatre when his name displayed in the screen..she wanted to celebrate his victory more than him..But her dreams left as a dream itself..

       "Your dream come true moment ila ashwin?"

        "Huh?" Ashwin stunned to hear her..He thought she would never react ..He didn't know how to answer her question..

        " i was very happy when i heared that your movie got released..movie enala paka mudila..paka bayaa irundudu..But inda film kaga nenga award vangunada pathen..Best debutant award ila?"

       Ashwin just nodded..He was speechless..He just stared at her..

      "Hmmm..anda video matum pathen..you were so happy ashwin..nenga award vangunada pathapo enaku romba happy ah irundudu..adhu unga dream matum ila..en dream kuda..anda award nenga vangunapo unga face la irunda smile pakumbodu i felt very content that day.."she told with a smile in her face..

      " But im not"Ashwin whispered without taking his eyes off of her ..

      "Huh?" Shivangi looked ashwin for the first time from the movie started to play..She looked at him confusingly..She can see the beads of tears ready to flow from his eyes..But he diverted his eyes before it fell..

     "I was not happy ma..i was not content..yes i did achieve my dream..But i was not happy..im not even happy now..enoda dream career cinema dan..adhukaga na evlo kastapatanu unake therium..But enoda dreams matum ilama..enala career achieve panniyum anda sandhosatha anubavika mudila" His voice breaking..

      "Ashwin" she whispered

        "Ne en life la ellathayum change pana ponnu ma..ne vara varaikum enakaga matum dan achieve pananunu asa paten..but epo ne en life la vandiyo apove adhu ellame mari pochu..na unakaga oda aramichen..un love ellathayum mathuchu..unakaga achieve pananunu thonuchu..na hero agi en career la success agumbodu un face la vara anda sandhosam enaku venunu thonuchu..inda ulagathula ne asa pathadu ellam seiyaradukaga na success aganunu nenachen"

       He stopped taking a deep breath..shivangi didn't interrupt him..she watched him with lone tear decorated her face..

      "En dream yena theriuma shivangi ma?Enoda asa yenava irundudu theriuma?First film release ana apram una proud ah ellarukum introduce pananunu asa paten..unga appa amma kita pesi avangala convince pani permission vangitu she is mine apdinu inda ulagathuke sollanunu nenachen..i wanted to announce to the world proudly .."

      Wiping his tears " ne epovum solluva theriuma unga name big screenla display agumbodu na sathama kathi enjoy pananunu..i wanted to see that..but adhu enaku kedaikave ila ma..ena first screen la pakumbodu un face la oru smile vandurukumla ada un kaiya pidichitu pakathula ukkandu rasikanunu nenachen..inda award ,periya celebrity appreciations idhu eduvume enaku kudukada sandhosatha unnoda anda oru smile kuduthurukum..but im not lucky enough to get that"

     Shivangi wordlessly watched him..The love he have for her is still fresh..He didn't change even a bit in these past years..How stupid of her to think that his status and career may make him forget everything..But he is her ashwin still..This thought makes her guilty..She felt like she cheated him..

     Without showing her guilt "ashwin sometimes nama nenaikaradu namaku kedaikaradu ila..oru vishayam thappa pochuna ellame nama life la thappa irukunu enda avasiyamum ila..na ilana yena?amma appa evlo sandhosa patrupanga..avanga happiness and acceptance ungaluku oru periya gift ashwin..nenga avanga accept panradukaga evlo yengirukenga?"

     Ashwin turned to look at her..His eyes are red and full of emotions..she couldn't look into his eyes for long time..His eyes showing his pain to her..It did something to her and she couldn't handle that..she averted her eyes..

     He whispered " ne tholacha ne enaku ipo kedachuta ma..but na tholacha anda moments enaku epovume kedaika porade ila..na inime evlo films nadichalum evlo awards vangualum enaku anda happiness vara poradu ila ma..inda pain ena vittu poga poradum ila..i will yearn for that moment for my life time..life fulla na yengite dan iruka poren adukaga..na sagura varaikum na tholacha anda moment ena konnukitte dan irukum"

      He left taking a sleeping teju with him without waiting for her reply..shivangi staring the place he left without taking her eyes..she felt like her heart was suppressed by the amount of guilt she felt each day..The pain he hides successfully behind his smiling face is killing her..Is she the reason for all his sufferings..Is she the one who makes him like this?These questions makes her night sleepless..These thoughts increases her fears and insecurities too..