A Nighean Ruadh

The Reckoning

Featured Gaelic and Pronunciations:

- seo (show) - here

- Gabh mo leisgeul (gahv moh leesh-gehl) - excuse me

- Mo ghaol (moh gowl) - my love

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26 May, 1743

Scottish Highlands, Scotland

We rode for probably somewhere around five hours, stopping somewhere along the bank of the River Roy. I was riding behind Jamie on his horse, my arms wrapped tightly around him, and we didn't stop once, not until dawn. Finally, it was decided that we would stop, and Jamie dismounted his horse and then helped me down. " Seo , water the horse. Make sure she's fed," Jamie told Rupert, who nodded and took the horse. "Come," he said to me, leading me off and out of sight of the other men. He didn't seem angry, but something was definitely off, and I didn't like it one bit. "Are ye all right?" he asked me when we were alone, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Did Randall hurt ye? Did he..." I didn't answer him, but my face must have given away the answer. "Christ..." With shame, he turned and looked away from me. "How long?"

"Not long," I answered honestly and hoarsely. "He didn't... finish... and even if he did, he... There wouldna be a chance fer me to... bear his child."

"He buggered ye?" Jamie asked, turning around to face me with his eyes wide. "I'll kill the beast, I swear I will!"

"It's no' worth it," I said.

"For your honour, it is! And fer mine!" Jamie exclaimed, startling me. This was going to be an argument, and I braced myself for defence.

" Your honour?" I said. "Your honour ? What about my sanity and health? Does that no' matter?" I demanded of him.

"I am no' discrediting the trauma ye may feel at bein' violated-"

"I've been raped before. I came back from it. If I came back from that, I'll come back from this," I spat. "But somethin' tells me that yer putting me at fault for what was done te me."

"Aye, I am, and I'm expectin' an apology," Jamie told me, and I was taken aback. I scoffed.

"An apology? Do ye even ken what happened?" I asked him with a tone of disbelief.

"Aye, ye disobeyed me. I ordered ye to stay and ye didn't, and ye got caught by English soldiers and risked the lives of every man there by the bank of the river!" Jamie spat back, and I let out a laugh.

"What exactly do ye think happened, Jamie? Because I can assure ye, whatever you are thinkin' didnae happen," I said, giving my last calm line of this ridiculous argument.

"You didnae stay where I ordered ye to stay!" Jamie spat, all hint of calmness gone from his voice.

"I do not have to do what ye tell me to!" I shouted back, and he closed the distance between us and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Aye, ye do. You are my wife . You have to do what I tell ye to!"

"Let go of me!" I shouted, pulling myself from his hands.

"Had you stayed where I ordered ye to stay, none of this would have happened! But no, no, you willnae listen to me! Why mind me? I'm no' but yer husband !"

"Quit yer bloody haverin'," I said, turning on my heel, but he continued.

"Ye take it into yer mind te do as ye damn please! And next I ken, I find ye flat on yer back with yer skirts up and the worst scum of the land takin' ye before my verra eyes!"