Fame&Pain

Chapter 10

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We managed to get out of the crowd alive and in one piece thankfully and escaped to my apartment for some sanity. I was losing it, my father was in hospital unconscious i didn't know what was wrong with him and for all i knew it was defiantly not good if my mother sounded so shakey on the phone and she only acted lik that when something was really wrong. His heart condition must have worsened when I left for NY it was all my fault this was happening my career was progressing to fast and I shouldn't of pushed my luck in America leaving behind everyone just to pursue one thing that barely mattered over them. If anything happened I... don't know all I knew was to get a plane to London as soon as possible and put everything on hold here.

I threw open the doors to my walk in closet and dragged out my suitcase whilst attempting to pin my phone in place with my shoulder and booking a ticket to Heathrow that hopefully leaves in a few hours even if it means flying normally I'll get a first class ticket or anything that's available that's how desperate I am.

" Isabelle what're you doing?" Cathy stuck her head in the spacious closet.

" Packing." I whispered  

" You want me to come with you I'm sure I could take a few days off uni and I don't want you to be alone." 

" No its ok I don't want you to dump everything because of me I'll be fine." She pulled in for a much needed hug and helped me pack.

I managed to get a ticket on the same day within midnight and hopefully arrive during day time in London, threw some last bits into my large black burberry bag and put on a pair of converses. Aiden was still outside sitting on the couch with Jake watching a game on TV.

" O Hey how you doing?" Aiden stood up as soon as he saw me and Jake was hugging me already his long legs could always cut through distances much faster then anyones. 

"Opf thanks Jake I'll call you guys when I get there." He realsed me and beamed, "Aiden could you push back the dates of working on the signle or I'll send you stuff during email or whenever I can and if anyone asks where I am tell them I'm away for a family emergency, thank you, I squezed his hand.pp

His eyes looked right into my like so deep it was like he was seeing into my soul and no one ever did that. It was scary I had to break off the eye contact to avoid him digging in any deeper because my past wasn't exactly pretty. Returning back home after the way I left it wasn't great, the things I said to Alex the night I decided to pack and leave what if I saw him again? No that wouldn't be possible he'd probably off to university and wooing every girl that crosses his path and for Chace lets hope hes doing what a typical rich boy does and I don't see him ever becasue we didn't end the relationship on a high note. It turns out the arranged marriage thing wouldn't of worked out anyways and even though he knew I loved Alex since like forever he still carried on playing innocent and back stabbed his best freind so moving to New York was a way of getting as far away from that two faced womanizer.  

" Isabelle? You want me to drive you there my cars parked just outside?" 

I looked down at my watch all this goodbye stuff went on for longer then expected I only had a few hours to get to the plane so I let Aiden drop me off and even though we only just met today leaving him too made me tear up I cry way too easily! It was so stupid yet when the tears started to role down my cheek i couldn't retrieve them.

He got out of the car and hugged me tight. God this was embarrassing! He's only met me today and probably thinks I'm an over sensitive girl who's messed up in the head because her fathers gone into intensive care. Can you blame me?

12 hours later:

I arrive in London at 20.35pm knowing that visiting hours are over by now so I call my mother hoping she would pick up and tell me that every things OK and dad's fine but after her calls I know that nothing has changed in the last few hours instead things have worsened. I dropped off my luggage in my empty room with a few scattered bits that haven't changed one bit since I left and attempted to sleep but after a few minutes of tossing and turning I give in and put on a think cardigan and head outside for a walk. 

The night was dead silent I missed all my best friends and the old times before the flashing lights and never ending attention took over my life. I used to be the girl that no one noticed and everyone just passed by in the corridors, i hugged my arms feeling the breeze seep through the knitted fabric. I got up to pier hearing the swish of the sea and the calming sounds setting my crazy thoughts to a halt.  

'Your back?' I turned around hearing the all to familiar voice. Alex.

I curved my stiff lips trying to smile, 'Yeah my father went into ICU.' I took in his appearance waiting for an response, his lean, broad body under the sweater that he was wearing and jeans he looked exactly the same and hadn't changed a bit.

' How you doing about that I heard, if theres anything you need just ask.'

'Thanks but you don't honestly mean that since you hate me.' I hoarsely laughed holding back the tears. 

'I don't hate you it was a long time ago and things have changed... your different, high schools over' He stumbled, eyes focusin on the rough ground rather then on me.

' Right but I never stopped loving you this doesn't change anything I'm still me.' I whispered wishing I could take back all those years of high school and play them back right now instead of re-living this over again and again. 

"Bella I do..' I look up into his hazel brown eyes, grabbing on to the sleeve of my cardigan like it was the only thing hanging on to my life. 

'You what?' The distance between us closing in but broken by the sound of my phone. 'Hello, yeah I just went out to take some fresh air...ok I'll see you there.' My dad had gone in to a critical condition and didn't have much time left my voice was quivering and my strong composure was no longer standing I ran towards the direction of the hospital hoping I could get there in a couple minutes since it shouldn't take me that long from the pier. 

'Where you going who was it?' He called behind me footsteps pacing not far from mine

'My father... hes not got long.' The words didn't feel right out of my mouth I never expected to eveer say those words. I used to watch on TV how people used to die and I never thought that would happen to me today, he was supposed to live a long life not die middle aged he still hasn't seen me get married yet or have grandchildren for him to hold. God this isn't really all I needed to do was smack myself awake and everything would be the same. nothing would have changed. Please let it be a dream.

I got to the hospital, panting by the time i got to the reception and asked for the details of my fathers designated room. He looked so small and fragile on that white bed with tubes stuck into him the heart monitor beeping steadily then suddenly the charge dropped dramatically it happened so fast and I wasn't in the right mind to focus everything was just slipping out my finger tips. I lost him within minutes of arriving he didn't react, nothing but the rush of doctors trying to save his life.

I cried so much that day, my heart felt like it was being ripped out and when I tried to grasp on to the last moment of warmth from my father Alex pulled me away holding me close to him stopping me from struggling. We stayed like this until they pulled the sheets over and everyone cleared out leaving us to say our last goodbyes it was then I learnt I'd never get to see my father again.