Family Matters

3 | Vinny

The evening's quiet was a painful, dull one. It seems to be that way often now. Most the time, Ryan didn't bother to turn on music while he cooked or worked around the house. Not like he used to, anyways. It was just more static buzzing in his ears. His drummer's voice was one of the few things that managed to reduce the noise, and the anxiety. Vinny somehow knew how to smile and joke like his old self, as if this unbearable grief wasn't suffocating him like it did the others.

That sunshine smile brightened up the kitchen immediately. Vinny had just barely escaped the tiny tyrants giggling their heads off down the hall. "If the girls are staying here long term, I'm totally bringing my spare drum kit over."

"Please, for the love of God, I already have a teenager. Don't give the six year old drums." Ryan retrieved two beers from the fridge and handed one off to him. "Sorry to shatter your dreams of torturing me, but they're going to live with Chris' parents in a few days."

"Alright, so I'll just have to volunteer to babysit. I don't mind the noise." He kicked out a barstool from the island. "You know for how long?"

"No clue." Ryan desponded, pushing the cutting board across the island. As Vinny got to work dicing red peppers, he worked his way through anything that needed a measuring cup. "I've been thinking- I dunno. Just that, maybe I should let Chris come live here."

"It's better than where he's at." Vin paused to glance at Ryan. All he saw was the dejection, the stress. The weight Ryan hasn't been able to shoulder as easily as him. "You really think he can't be on his own right now?"

"No. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do Jani. He's just a kid. I mean, bringing the girls here is one thing, but... I don't know if it makes me a bad parent to expose him to that. Chris isn't in the right headspace, I can't expect him to worry about other people or blame him for the way he's been, but what if he relapses while he's here? And my son sees that? Or, if he blows up at us the same way he did to the nurses this week?"

"What happened with the nurses?"

"They wouldn't give me any details, but from what I gathered, he got violent with them."

"Even bein' the way he is and everything that happened, I don't think Chris would do something like that to someone who didn't deserve it." Vinny said, "I don't think he'd hurt Jani."

Ryan sighed, "Yeah, I know. But still. If he relapses, seeing that would fuck anyone up, especially a kid."

"Don't know if you've noticed, but the country's kinda fucked right now. That kid goes to school everyday having to worry someone's gonna pull a Columbine. And I'm willing to bet kids are cutting just as bad now as they did when we were in school, if not worse. Jani's probably more desensitized to it than we are."

"You're really making me feel like parent of the year over here, Vin."

"It's not your fault. Just the way shit is these days."

"I know." Ryan huffed, plopping an onion down on the cutting board. "Here. At least your Italian ass is good for something."

He grinned, "If you ask the ladies, it's good for a lot of things."

"Oh, what fuckin' ladies? I'm willing to bet you haven't gotten laid since that chick at AJ's wedding."

"Uh-" Vinny paused, brain buffered, "Yeah, well, when was the last time you went on a date?"

Ryan reached across the counter and flicked him on the head, reminding him that he's been a little bit busy being a father, as well as a Hell of good uncle. The thought of dating hadn't even crossed his mind. Even without the kids, he didn't see how to was fair to force his emotional baggage on anyone else.

After the meatloaf had been put in the oven, the two took time to relax and bullshit like usual. Ryan leaned over the counter, taking a swing of beer. "Did Justin tell you about Shae's conspiracy theory?"

Vinny snorted. "Which one?"

"She thinks Alex is gay. And she thinks he's interested in my son. And that my son likes him back. All of which she has absolutely no evidence for, by the way."

"Oh, Jani came out to you?" He asked.

"What?" Ryan's focus whipped to Vinny. "No! Did he come out to you?"

He shrugged, "No, but I just thought it was obvious. I never hear stories about girls, not even a crush, so it's one of two things; He's ace, or he's gay."

"You forgot option three: He doesn't tell me shit."

"But he does tell you shit! And if he doesn't tell you, then he tells me, or-" Vinny's sentence suddenly fell short. "Or Ricky."

"He told Ricky everything. And you'd think Ricky would have my back and let me in on shit! But he never did. He cared more about Jani having someone to talk to." Ryan sighed heavily, "I don't know what's going on with him and Alex, but I'm just glad that Jani has somebody he trusts again. I get why he doesn't want to talk to me about things. I'm his dad. It's weird. But he needs to talk to somebody."

"Hm," He smiled, "And you think you're a shit dad?"

"Please. Respecting my kid's privacy is the least I could do. My mom was always pretty good about it. I'm guessing yours wasn't."

"I'm Italian! My business was everybody's business! I couldn't take a shit without my mom telling the whole neighborhood what color it was. She talked my ear off. Like, ma, I really don't care what's going on with your hair dresser's second-cousin twice removed! And she still does it!"

And just like that, Vinny managed to breathe some life back into the conversation. An evening of bullshitting over beers was enough to get Ryan through another week. It was a reminder that things weren't all that bad. Though their peace came from the weird limbo they were in, he'd take stagnant over choppy waters any day.