Family Matters

6 | Scratch

The awkwardness hadn't gone away overnight, but each day slowly whittled away at it. A little part of Ryan stayed on edge. He couldn't fully relax, just waiting on something dramatic to happen with Chris. It's not like he has a ton of experience with this kind of thing. The two sat on his couch, watching some drama.

"Are straight people oblivious to the gay tension they write?" Chris wondered out loud. 

"Why are you asking me?" Ryan rebutted. 

Chris' face crunched in confusion as he felt like a just got blindsided. His hung open, searching for the right way to ask for clarification. Before he could get there, Ryan's phone started ringing. He was fully planning on blowing off Vinny or Justin or whoever it was, his week had been long enough. 

His son was calling him, at 11PM, on a Saturday.

His heart almost leaped out his throat. "Is everything okay?" were the first words out of his mouth.

Jani hesitated to reply. His voice was shaky when he finally did. "You know how you said I could always call no matter what?" 

"Of course."

"You promise you won't be mad?" He asked. 

"I promise." Ryan answered with complete sincerity.

He was already up, looking for his jacket when Jani sniffled, "Can you- Can you please just come pick me up?"

"I'm on my way. Are you somewhere safe until I get there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing like that." He sniffled again. "I just don't want to be here anymore."

"Okay. Text me the address. I'll be there soon." Ryan shoved his phone in his back pocket, then finally registered that Chris was still in his house. Fuck. He'd been avoiding leaving because, as much as he wants Chris to feel like Ryan trusts him, he really didn't. "Are you going to be okay if I leave?"

"Yeah." was all he said. Any real emotions from him remained absent. 

Ryan didn't like this at all, but what other choice did he have? He didn't have time to wait on anyone else to get here to watch Chris, and he wouldn't send anyone else to help his son. After all these years of being MIA, he needed Jani to know he could be a reliable father. 

Fifteen minutes later, he was outside a house bumping with music. It wasn't a party by any means, just a few rowdy teenagers with no regard for their neighbors. Jani sat on the concrete steps, pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie. The darkness and stillness of a lower-middle class suburbia was it's own special brand of misery. He couldn't get in his dad's car fast enough. 

Jani immediately turned off the radio. Ryan didn't say anything, letting his lack of response ask the question instead. "I'm just- I'm sorry, I'm just overstimulated and I just need some quiet."

"That's perfectly fine." Ryan took one last look at his son before he planned to drive away. His oversized hoodie was falling down one arm, revealing a fresh mark. "What happened?" 

He quickly pulled up his sleeve. "Frankie pulled me back and when I pulled away, I ran into a shelf. It's not a big deal." 

"Why did he grab you in the first place?" 

"It wasn't anything like that." Jani glanced back at the house, seeing the front door begin to open and someone stepping outside. "Can we go now?" 

Ryan looked back at the house with contempt before pulling away. He knew that kid was trouble. As they drove in utter silence, there were fumes coming off of him. Jani could sense his anger and it made his stomach turn.

"You said you wouldn't be mad." He muttered.

"I'm not-" Ryan paused to release a trapped breath. "I'm not mad at you. I'm really grateful you called, and you're safe. Now, not being mad doesn't mean no questions asked. You don't have to tell me everything, but just give me an idea of what happened."

Jani shifted around in his seat uncomfortably. "Frankie had alcohol at his house. I don't know how. I've never seen it there before. I took some to get him and his friends off my back about it, but not a lot. That's why I left. I didn't want to keep doing it."

"Were the others around when he grabbed you?" 

He hesitated because he knew what his dad was trying to ask. "No. But it wasn't- He wasn't- you know."

"I hope you know, if anything like that does happen, you can tell me. And if not me, one of the guys. They care about you as much as I do." 

"No 'I told you so'?"

"Saving it for the morning. You've had a rough enough night." Ryan said.

The soft yellow beams of street lights rolled over the car in waves as they continued home. The roads were practically empty, and the whole world silence. Jani watched out the window as the trees zipped past. 

"How 'come Chris never drank? That was like his whole thing, right?" 

"He was straight edge, still is, but he's never been preachy about it. It wasn't really a moral thing for him. He just always said he had no interest in it, even after Ricky passed."

Jani looked back at his father. "Did Ricky?"

"Not really. He was more of a glass of whiskey or scotch at the end of a long week kind of guy. Vinny and I were arguably the ones that drank the most, and even we didn't do it much. I'm not gonna say we weren't partiers, but I'm sure you won't want to hear about our sex lives."

"Absolutely not." Jani was quick to respond. 

"You have no idea how many times Chris and Ricky got walked in on." 

"Dad!" 

"We were living in close quarters, it was bound to happen." 

"DAD!"

Ryan laughed as his son died of embarrassment in his passenger seat. Oh, that didn't even scratch the surface of the band's escapades. Overindulging in vices was a natural part of being a musician. Once Ryan quit cigarettes', and eventually nicotine all together, he needed something to fill the gap. Honestly, he wondered how he only ended up with one bastard child.

When they got home, he was relieved to see Chris in the same place he'd left him. Jani ran off to his room, no doubt to cry about all the details he omitted from his father. Ryan reminded him he loved him before he went, but didn't push beyond that. 

"He's too upset to eat right now, but he is going to destroy my kitchen in the morning." He muttered. 

"He didn't eat dinner?" Chris asked.

"Nope." Ryan flopped down on the couch with a dramatic sigh. Despite how tired he was, the curious look Chris was giving him wasn't lost on him. 

Chris grabbed the remote and paused the TV. "What exactly did you mean earlier?"