Of Masks And Roses

No One's Fault

I watched him as he took the stitches out of my arm. It hurt, but not as much as when he had to reset my arm. I couldn't help but stare at him as he worked; carefully taking out each stitch. To think that just an hour ago, he was a totally different person. A man with red in his eyes, and anger in his heart. Now he was like an ocean on a warm and sunny day, not a wave in sight.

"You know," he suddenly spoke, "It's rude to stare."

"Oh," I quickly looked away, "Sorry."

He chuckled and set his scissors down on the table next to him. We were in his home, sitting at a table together, with a small plate of bread and a sewing kit between us, the bread untouched. I wasn't very hungry. After what had happened, I just didn't feel like eating at all, and he probably didn't feel like eating either.

"If you're hungry, you can eat that," he said, nodding toward the bread. I looked back at him, just realizing that I had been staring at it.

I quickly looked away and shook my head, "I'm not hungry, but thank you," I said, but to prove me wrong, my stomach growled. I grimaced and looked down at the floor.

He rolled his eyes, "It sounds to me like you are hungry. You should eat. There. All done," said Erik as he stood up, throwing his scissors in a drawer and taking off his gloves. I looked down at my shoulder, and what once was a gaping, red, and bloody hole, was now just a plain scar. I smiled and rubbed my thumb against it.

"My mom used to say that scars tell stories. Every one has its own little tale. Whether good or bad." I said, looking up at him. He looked back down at me, smirking like he always does.

"Oh, really?"

"Mm-hmm.I have this other scar on my neck here, see?" I tilted my neck, showing a little scar in the shape of a C, "I could never remember how I had gotten it, so I would always pretend that I was bitten by a single-toothed vampire."

"You have quite the imagination, Scarlet." Erik said, sitting back down with me. I blushed, realizing I had babbled on. I shrugged and covered my shoulder up with my sleeve.

"I guess. But not all scars tell nice stories."

"What do you mean?"

I looked up at him, then back to the floor, biting my lip.

He tilted his head at me, "Are you alright?"

I laughed, "Ah, probably not. I just lost a dear friend to me and I'm stuck in the past with no idea how to get home but," I let out a slow and shaking breath, digging my nails into the side of the chair, "I'll be alright, I guess." I looked over to him, "Ok, since I know so much about you, I guess you kinda need to know something about me, huh?" I took in a breath, and then reached down to the end of my dress, "Just don't freak out, ok? I know how all you 19th century-ers are about ankles and legs and whatever but it's fine, it's just skin, ok?"

His eyes were wide and I could just tell that he was panicking inside. But I held my breath and pulled up my dress skirt up to my thigh, showing him the scarring on my right thigh. The Phantom stared at my red scars; the skin rippled and had warped texture.

"What happened? He asked softly.

"When I was a kid there was a house fire. My Mom was able to get out, but she wasn't able to get to me," I closed my eyes, dropping my skirt, "I still remember it, so vividly. Everything was bright and red. The fire was loud and hot. I remember running to my window and trying to get out, but it wouldn't open. I remember trying so, so hard. And the fire was unbearably hot, and then everything went black. When I woke up in the hospital my leg was all bandaged up. The doctor said that I was lucky, the firefighters had gotten there just in time to get me. But that I would have scarring on this leg for the rest of my life. It took months to heal," I looked up at Erik, "Where I come from, it's very normal for people to show off their skin. I've been trying to accept it, and I know that most people don't even care. But I can't help but be self conscious. I've been taking baby steps, really," I smiled, "Healing can be a long process, but every step is worth it."

"But don't you wish that it could have been different?" he asked, "Don't you wish that you wouldn't have gotten hurt?"

I shrugged, "There are moments where I wish that the fire never happened. But so many things in my life changed because of it, and mostly for the better. I went to a different school, made all sorts of friends, I took a music lesson class and that's where I began to learn how to play the piano. If it never happened, who knows who I'd even be," I reached out and grabbed Erik's hands, "Erik, I don't care about what it could have been, or how it could have been. What matters is now. And right now I am here, with you. And that's where I want to be."

"But that boy you were with," He said, squeezing my hands, "The one who fell. Don't you wish you could have changed what happened?"

My eyes teared up, "With all my heart. But no matter how many times I will plead with God, I won't be able to change the outcome. We may not be able to see it now, but-" I wiped away a tear, "Sometimes bad things happen so good things can come of it."

"But this wouldn't have happened if-"

"There are many reasons that led up to Simon's death, and it was no one's fault, not even Buquet's. He didn't mean any of it, I know it." Tears were starting to fall down my face again, but I quickly wiped them away, "It was an accident. A horrible accident."

"Then what can we do?" Erik asked, "Everyone is going to be asking questions. What will you tell them?"

I shrugged, "I will tell them that he tripped, and though I tried to catch him, he fell anyway."

"You won't say anything about Buquet? About me?"

I shook my head, "No, it was just an accident. If anyone is to blame it's me. I asked him to help me. If I didn't..."

Erik took my hands in his, "Hey, don't start that. You are not to blame. It's not like you dragged him into the rafters."

I nodded, biting my lip, "I know it's just.." I felt the tears pour down my face, "He was my first friend here," I sobbed, wiping my face, "I don't know if I can do this without him."

"Hey," Erik said softly, taking out a handkerchief and wiping my face gently, "It's going to be ok. I'm here. It's like you said. Everything will work out in the end, maybe even for the better."

I closed my eyes, sighing slowly, "Yes. Thank you, Erik." I turned away, rubbing my eyes, "I need... I should probably get back up there. I'm sure everyone is looking for me."