An Intruder

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I just ran, ran from all the crap that that man gave me. The man was supposed to protect me and he couldn't be bothered to raise me. Ever since mom died after my birth, dad always had it out for me, making me think it was my fault. But I couldn't live with him anymore. I doubt that the old man even cares that I'm gone right now. Gotta stay on the positive side of things, this could be an absolute win for me. I could start a new life right here in the forest, heck that weird house could do. There was a sort of shabby house that looked like it belonged on top of the hill in one of those D-list horror films.

Well since it is a new start in my life, why not start house hunting. I go up to the door and try to open it. It was locked, which was odd, considering that it could be abandoned. I went to look for another way in until the door slowly creaked open,.

"Well that wasn't creepy at all." I had said to no one other than myself. I walked into the dark building and saw that it was a bit bigger on the inside than the outside, not in terms of magical/scientific telephone box, but still a weird difference in portions. In an instant, the lights on the wall lit up revealing a hallway, and lining the walls were what looked like small antiques. Crystals, medallions, a crystal ball with Madame... Xana something, part of it was worn off on the nameplate on the stand. For an abandoned house, it's surprisingly clean.

In between each relic was a suit of armor, I followed the corridor for a while and came upon a giant set of double doors which, surprise surprise, opened automatically and I saw a giant sitting room with two spiral staircases in the two corners of the room across where I just entered, doors at the top of the staircases, and two on the ground floor. One on the left wall and one on the right with stacks of book shelves lining most of the walls while the room was lit with torches, and a lit fireplace? Four red cloth wingback chairs formed a circle in front of the fire and in the middle was a stand with a golden helmet, it was almost like it was calling to me. Just as I was about to touch the thing, I was stopped by an English accent. It startled me and made me look up to one of the spiral stairs. I saw a man with dirty blonde hair, dressed in dress pants, shoes, button up shirt and tie with a long trench coat on.

"I wouldn't put that on if I were you mate," he had said in a slightly heavy Lancashire accent. "Hell, I wouldn't even touch the thing." the next thing that he did was snap his fingers, and the pedestal with the helmet instantly disappeared. It really surprised me, making me jump a bit and I was just one other worldly action away from a panic attack. I was about to leave when I turned around and saw the guy right in front of me, holding my head within his hands.

"I get it mate, you came stumbling in looking for shelter and got a little more than you bargained for." he said still holding my head between his hands, sort of moving it in different angles, like a doctor trying to find the problem to their patient.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna fix it and make it all better," I close my eyes and wait for whatever that was supposed to happen to happen. after a while a "What?" come out of the stranger's mouth.

"You put a protection spell on his mind?" at that point, these masses of purple comes out of thin air and soon formed what looked human in body type, but not so human as she had purple skin and a fin on top of her head. 

"He reminds me of you." she had said. What about me would remind her of this guy. "I can see a similar upbringing from his past like yours." She said all of this in a calm tone. So what, she can see my past or something, I'm chocking this one up to a lucky guess. the man now looks at me and looks back at the figure.

"That doesn't mean that since he saw me, he won't be tracked down just to get to me, trust me Orchid, this is for the best." I saw that the lady named Orchid wasn't about to give in. "Besides, I didn't know that we took in strays."

"I took you in didn't I." Orchid had said with a neutral tone and face and this left the guy at a lost for words. After a while he relented and let go of my head.

"All right, he can stay for a while, but he's gonna help out while he's here, you got that." the guy looked at me and I nodded fast. "And for the record, I won you in a card game, so I took you in." the guy had said as a matter of fact. This all happened so quickly, my new strange landlord looked back at me as he was going to walk through one of the doors, I guess he wanted me to follow. And follow I shall, even if its down some weird, dark, dank hallway. in all the confusion, I guess I didn't really get to ask what the guy's name was.

"Hey, um, sir?" I went to ask and he stopped to turn his head towards me. "What's your name by the way?"

"Constantine, John Constantine." he responded while taking out a cigarette and lighting it while it was in his mouth, taking a puff. "Now come on, there's something I need you to do." he said, leading me to a room with a pile of what looked like magical relics.

"Don't you wanna know my name?"

"No," off to a great start so far

"I need you to sort through this pile, separate and catalog the mysteriously dangerous items and the vague but still dangerous items." You know what that sounds like? That sounds impossible and difficult. Some might even say impossibly difficult. 

"Isn't there anything just regularly difficult?"

"No," awesome. "Here's a book on magical items, If it's in this room, then more likely than not, it's in there, good luck." He goes to walk away, which left me with only one question left to ask.

"But aren't vague and mysterious the same thing?"

"No," he only yells back at me, this should take me a while.


Meanwhile, back in the main sitting room. 

Constantine makes it back and only stares into the lit fireplace as Orchid reformed behind him.

"I do wish you didn't smoke in the house," she said referring to his cigarette.

"You know he'll only be in danger if he's around me or what I do." Constantine said that like it was a matter of fact.

"Well I thought you could use the company instead of me, since you keep trying to push everybody else away,  Allec Holland and Damien Darkblood until you have a plan to use them, Zat..." Constantine managed to cut her off before she could finish her name.

"Please don't bring her up Orchid." Orchid decided to bring up another figure from his past.

"The only one that still wants to pester you is that owl."

"Yes, but that's only because she's trying to steal something." and as he finished talking a letter flew through the fireplace and into his hand. Speak of the devil and she will send letters stamped with a smiley face. Constantine was considering on throwing it away, but he thought about what Orchid said.

"I know I'm gonna regret this," this was all he said as he telepathically steered the house to appear in the Boiling Isles

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