Never | (Harry Styles AU) • COMPLETE

thirty two.

Sorry I haven't been updating I've been feeling sick. A lot of you guys dont know this but I do have a chronic illness (since I was born) and it makes me super tired for no reason (along with other shitty symptoms) some days and lately I've been having a lot of those days so I don't really like writing when I feel this way because I don't like the way chapters come out. So thank you all for still reading. ❤️

Time passing. It's the only way to know that what youre doing is a step in the right direction.

Weeks went by, the pain was still there..my issues inside and out; were still there. But so was Harry.

He felt like an annoying fly that wouldn't go away..I was a dying carcass and he just wouldn't stop hovering. At first it was a constant battle between us. He fought to get in and I fought to keep him out. I figured he'd give up and just let it go back to being someone else's problem.

But he didn't.

He got in..I don't know what it was exactly, or when it finally happened, but he did it. He slowly fixed me-as best as someone as broken as me could be fixed. With every stupid project,workout session, conversation, scolding, or whatever it was that day he spread the masonry cement so I could lay down my brick..my small effort at getting back to me. And brick by brick, I started to feel whole again. Sure there were days where I knew that I had just knocked over all my efforts and started over again, I learned to embrace those for without those days I would not have known to lay my bricks down differently.

Weeks slowly crept into months and by the third I was finally socializing with people outside of the help at home and Harry. I'd visit Penelope and my nephew, other days Id visit my very stressed and in debt mother. It was like a giant mixing bowl of things I knew I needed to do to feel normal again and Harry was the one slowly throwing the ingredients in, encouraging me to keep mixing.

The only person I really didn't try "mixing in" was Bruno. Bruno was a sour subject for me to say the least. When he found out about Harry helping me he was beyond happy..it actually seemed to bring him to a better place then he was before. This only enraged me..if I thought about it enough I could cry from the anger it brought me. How could he just stand back and let Harry do all the things he should have been?

I wanted a divorce..I wanted to escape him and his inability to provide me with more than material objects. He wasn't the person I had married...but I wasn't the same person he has married either. Or at least that's what Harry constantly reminded me. He was the the only reason I hadn't filed for divorce everytime Bruno smiled at me and the idea sprouted in my mind. Harry said that in my state rash decisions couldn't be executed properly. I figured he was right and I just ignored Bruno, and he backed off. We didn't even sleep in the same bedroom anymore and that did me more good then I expected.

Another thing I didn't expect was falling for Harry. It was hard to put into words what it was that I was feeling..probably because I pushed it as far as my mind would allow. It was hard to even admit to myself that I was starting to feel something for Harry..something that wasn't needed nor necessary.

I hadn't expected it to happen, especially since I saw him as more of a guide then a friend. But he went from just being a guide to good friend I could actually talk to. And talking to him..talking to him just made me feel things. There's something so powerful about feeling such a deep connection with someone you speak to on a regular. Not only that but when they acted on the things you spoke of, or vis versa..it meant that we were listening. I just think that when you're so broken..so torn up and lost, you need someone to listen, really listen.

I wasn't sure whether the feeling was mutual or not, but I knew that one think was for sure; Harry cared.

And that was enough.