Dark Side Of The Room (Jack's Girlfriend)

Chapter 5

I sit with Alex and Vic side stage. Vic is rather upset, I could see it in his eyes. One of his really good friends and his daughter were both diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I don't blame him.

I see Alex is unsure about the catheter. He doesn't want to hide it on stage but he feels he might break down if someone asks about it. He still hasn't told his band.

I hear Jack. "Alex, where have you been?" He turns to Jack. "Just dealing with the things I need to do before flying down to San Diego to start chemo."

Jack's face pales. "Oh, Alex." Jack gives him a careful hug. "How long have you known it was a possibility?" "About four weeks. It's a clinical study I'm in. Supposedly, they are trying to use the same drugs for patients with penile and cervical cancer."

"Patients with the HPV 16 strain and stage 4. We are both in the same one." He looks at me. "You too, kid?" I nod weakly. "It was only 3 weeks for me, but it was probably more certain because cervical cancer runs in my mom's side of the family."

"What other health conditions run in your mom's family?" "Oh this should be a fun list. Heart disease, diabetes, lung cancer, cervical cancer, pancreatic cancer, ovarian cancer, bipolar disorder, obesity, depression, anxiety, ADHD, anorexia, epilepsy, and probably a few others."

They look shocked. "That is a lot of cancer." I nod. "Funny story, my grandma's sister had the lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, ovarian cancer, and diabetes but they listed her cause of death as Covid even though she had tested negative again over a month before she died."

"Where does the heart disease come from?" "My mom's dad died of heart disease at 57, about 4 years before I was born." I rub my arm lightly. "I'm done talking about this." They nod.

I see Alex look at Vic and he lifts up Vic's wrists. "Oh, Vic." I look down. Jack makes the connection between the two movements. "Rachel, you had attempted as well and you blame yourself for Vic attempting." I don't make eye contact but nod.

Jack gently takes my arms and I pull them away. "They are covered in scars, but that wasn't how I attempted the most recent time and you can't see the other attempts." "Other attempts? Why didn't you tell me you had attempted before?"

"That sounds like a pleasant conversation. Oh Vic, just so you know I've attempted suicide three times, created a huge plan, ended up in the ER for blood loss once, been self-harming for two years, have had nearly constant suicidal thoughts since I turned 14, spent a year eating in a way I'm sure would've been classified as an eating disorder, and the one time I tried alcohol I wanted it for three months after. Happy?"

He looks completely lost. "That's what I thought." I quickly get up and leave. I end up sitting in one of the empty rooms crying. I quietly sing to myself, just singing the words I come up with.

"Rachel, that song is beautiful. Vic didn't mean to upset you." "I hate myself." "Rachel-" "No." He stops. "Let's get you back to Vic." He picks me up and I resist for a bit before giving up and letting him take me back side stage.

Vic talks to me. "Your mother isn't who you think she is. Your "mom" kidnapped you. Your actual mom, um, she died of alcohol abuse which probably explain why the alcohol was hard on you. The only health problems in her family were mental health issues. Well, from her mom anyways. She barely knew her dad."

"Does she have any siblings?" "Yep, you have met her only full brother." I look confused and think about it. "Kellin?" Vic nods. "Oh, so he is my uncle?" Vic nods.

"In fact, I have a surprise for you." He goes over to the entry door and Kellin comes in. "Kellin!" He gives me a light hug. "Oh, and Rachel, Alex is your uncle as well. He is Kellin's half-brother. Kellin, at this point I would recommend trying to get a screening for cancer."

Vic's phone rings. "Hey there is another one of your uncles." He answers. "Hey Mike." Vic's face quickly shows sadness. "Yeah, of course. Come down to San Diego."

He hangs up. "Kellin, we might as well both get tested today. C'mon." Vic takes Kellin and they leave.

"Do you think he's okay?" "I think they're both honestly scared." He looks at the time. "Want to perform PMA and A Love Like War with us tonight?"

"Sure." I watch as they go on stage and eventually I hear the beginning of A Love Like War. I walk on stage singing. There is cheering when we finish. "Everyone, this is Rachel. She's my new best friend." Jack speaks up. "Wow, Alex, replacing me so quickly and easily." He wipes a fake tear.

"Barakat, we all know I'm better than you." My confidence is very faked but I want to play around. "If you want to play that game, show us what you got on guitar." I glare at him and talk into the dead mic. "Asshole."

I smile. "Do any of you guys know Black Veil Brides?" There is some cheering. I hear both Rian and Zack.

"What song? We'll back you up." "The Legacy." They both look shocked and nod. I take a guitar and a pick. I quickly tune and nod to them. Rian begins playing, followed immediately by Zack.

I go through the whole song. I sing and do the screaming. There is a lot of cheering when I'm done. I take a moment to recover. "Beat that, Barakat." "I should've known to not challenge the one with so much music in her blood." I smile.

"I hope someone got that on video because her dad would love to see that." There is some cheering. "Alright, now that they got that out of the way, she is joining us on our next song."

I go off stage later and I watch them for a while. I speak in the dead mic. "I'm going to the dressing room. Are the guitars in there free game?" I see Alex nod.

I go back there and mess around for a while. I answer the call from Vic. "Kellin, Mike, and I will all be joining you guys for treatment." "Oh, I'm sorry." "It's okay. Could you let us in?"

I let them in. I go back to the dressing room. "You guys want to see something?" I pull the video up on the TV. They watch it. "You know, I never called you one to be so boisterous."

"It happens with music." "His fans love you." I hear Alex. "Someone found out that Vic and Kellin are backstage. They are now all chanting for us to do a song. We created a song but we need you as the other singer and for the screaming parts. Tell them they have 9 minutes to train you and then it will be the first encore song."

I explain the situation to Vic and Kellin. We get through the song and there is a ton of cheering. They join us off stage. "That was awesome." "No kidding." After Dear Maria, Kellin, Vic, Alex, and I are on the way to the airport.

We go through security and I lightly hum. Vic calmly talks to me. "Are you good?" "Yep, just humming about how much I hate airplanes." He laughs. "It's okay, how much have you flown before?" "5 round-trip flights." He nods.

"Nothing bad will happen." He gives me one of my anxiety meds and I take it. "Vic, how bad is your cancer?" "Stage 3, same with Kellin, both penile like Alex's. Mike has stage 2 AML." I nod. He lightly sings and eventually I fall asleep against his shoulder.