Eliot Strange and the Prince of the Apocalypse

35) Tiffany Jo

Middle school was hell for me because of bullying, but ninth grade was not much better. At least I had someone to share it with because my best friend Steven was right by my side. I was fourteen, skinny as a rail, with braces that refused to go away. My hair was frizzy on a good day and wind stormed on a bad one. While I was practically a trained killer, thanks to my dad, I was uncoordinated. I couldn't walk in heels, assemble an outfit, or apply eye shadow. Girly things did not come natural to me. I couldn't carry on a conversation with anyone of the opposite sex except Steven.

Steven, my male twin, wore thick glasses and lisped because of his braces that also refused to leave a man behind. Steven was at least athletic, but his teammates knew his sexual orientation, and some of them treated him like a spy in the locker room.

We made an awkward pair.

Tiffany Jo Donathan was the exact opposite. Where we were goofy freshman, she was a breath of fresh air. We were not yet finished with puberty, and she peaked at the perfect time. Her beauty was only matched by her inner soul. Everyone loved her, even me and Steven.

Oh, we tried to hate her. We did. We did because who loves perfection when you are less than ordinary? Tiffany Jo was perfect. Not only was she lovely, wanted by sophisticated older, senior boys who wanted to take her to the school dance, but she was nice. Nice to everyone, even us less-than-perfect ninth graders. She was not like all the other beautiful, mean freshmen girls who snubbed us to our faces when they weren't talking about us behind our backs

We waited for Tiffany Jo to mess up and quit being kind to people who did not matter, but she never did. She shared her gum, she commented on our new jeans, she asked us to come to her birthday party. It was like she did not know any better - that it was possible to be beautiful and popular and sweet as sugar. She was genuine, and we loved her.

My cousin Carli is a grown up Tiffany Jo, beautiful and kind to all people. The only difference is that I suspect that Carli, unlike Tiffany Jo, knows what power she has. I am not saying she is not sincere, but I am starting to think that maybe she knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it.

Everyone here at our camp adores Carli, and who wouldn't ? After staying up half the night talking to Torin by the fire in the courtyard, she helped cook breakfast this morning. She straightened up the sleeping area without being asked. She combed all the tangles out of Cindy's hair and made pigtails for her baby doll's hair. And yet, something about my cousin Carli feels like a show. Like she is trying to convince even me that she is a Tiffany Jo and not a mean girl.

I am a horrible person. I don't know anymore. I feel ashamed of myself. Where is my mama? I feel like crying. My beautiful cousin Carli is alive. She says my mama is alive. I should be happy and relieved.

I look over at Prince Torin who is letting Carli fix that terrible haircut he gave himself. Carli is lathering up his face for a shave. They both laugh when she nicks him.

I should be happy that Carli is here, but I feel like crying my eyeballs out. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were, in what seems like years ago but was just yesterday, when it was just me and the prince.

The world has ended. People are dying and killing each other. And all I want is my prince back for me, just me. I am barely eighteen, and I can't think right now about all the things in the world that have just gone straight to hell. I can't think about all the things I should be crying about. I am just thinking about myself.

I am sad. I am a self-centered, immature, selfish pig. I want my prince back.

By afternoon, we are worried. The camp is worried. Clay and Sorenson have been gone almost 24 hours. We expected them back last night from their scouting mission. Have they encountered the enemy? Is the One Nation Army closer than we thought. Should we run or stay and make a stand? It is decided that we will send someone to look for them. I volunteer.

"I will go," I say.

"No, no you will not," says Torin. "It is not safe for you out there. I will send one of the soldiers."

Suddenly, the man who has ignored me since he met my beautiful cousin is concerned about my safety?

"He's right," says Leia. "It's not safe out there."

"I know the way around this town better than anyone," I say.

"We can go, me and Smith," says Private Hellman. "We know our way around the town too. We're from here."

"Well, then who is going to guard our prince?" I ask.

"That's true," says Smith who has been taking his duty so seriously that Torin says he can't go to the bathroom without the guy following him.

"Eliot, you are not going," says Torin. "I am in charge here, and I say you are not going."

"I don't have to listen to you. Your highness. I am not in your army, and you are not my prince or my boss."

"She will probably be fine," says Carli to Torin. "She's a tough girl."

Torin looks at Carli like he is for once not delighted with something that came out of her mouth. He walks over to me and looks me directly in the eye. This is the first time I have ever seen him angry with me. I don't think we are parrying in a happy way now. "May we have a talk? In private?"

"Certainly," I say with an attitude because I am angry too. He has a lot of gall telling me what I am or am not going to do. Who does he think he is?

When he gets me alone, Torin grabs my arm and pulls me so close that I can smell spearmint on his breath. Why does he always smell so damn good? Everyone else around here smells like dirt and mud and sweat, and he smells delicious. It is infuriating when you are mad at someone, and they smell pure and clean and perfect. "Are you crazy?" he asks me with his spearmint breath. He is close enough to my face for me to kiss him.

"Let go of my arm before I remove it from your shoulder." I shove him away.

"Eliot, this is not a game we are playing here. It is dangerous out there. I cannot let you go."

"Don't you think I know that by now? I have seen death since this all started. No one is safe. If you haven't noticed, it is the end of the world. It is every man, and every woman, for themselves. It is a dog eat dog world. It is survival of the fittest. I'm fit, and I am more than ready."

"Eliot, I do not doubt your capabilities. You have been well prepared. It is just that..."

"Just what?" I ask.

Carli comes up and interrupts our conversation. "I think she will be fine Tori. She can kick some butt. You could send someone with her, if you're that worried. Maybe Steven?"

"Yeah, Steven can go with me."

"Not Steven," says Torin. "He is still grieving. He would not be of any use to you. He is distracted."

I am so selfish I have barely noticed Steven's grief. I am a terrible friend. All I think about is myself. Torin is a better friend to Steven than I am. I have got to get away from this place and this man before I hate myself more than I already do. I have to let all of this go.

"I'm going," I say. "Torin, I am going to find Clay and Sorenson. I will be gone less than two hours. I will be careful. I promise. I'm taking Steven. It'll be good for him to get out of here. Have something to occupy his mind, other than Nana."

"Eliot, I don't think this is a good idea."

"When I get back, I am leaving for good. Me and Steven are leaving for good. We are going to my dad's."

"What?" says Torin.

I want to shock him and make him feel bad too so I say, "You said it yourself. All is lost. There's nothing left to fight for. It is gone. All gone. Time to abandon ship. Time to abandon this group of rag-tag misfits."

"Eliot," he says in a voice that sounds like he is hurt, but then he changes his tone, "Well, ok, take Steven with you. Load that gun of yours with more than three bullets. Take one of the cars. It will be faster. And, can you stop and check with your editor friend and see if he has any news?"

"Sure," I say.

As I leave, I can feel Torin's eyes on me. I don't look back.