Everything Falls Apart

Vent Session

"damn Siya .." Bia said with a half smile on her face like the shit was funny when it really wasn't, I sat back in the lawn chair taking a bite of my cheese and chicken sandwhich listening to Bia laugh at me and Renaye's situation and it was really bugging me "so what you going to do about y'all whole time apart shit?" she asked me as she bite into her vegi roll "I don't know man it's like when she's not around I can do me in the studio and get what I need done but then at the same time it gets lonely at the house" I said as i pulled my shades on not wanting Bia to see the tears roll down my face but it was to late she had already pulled me into a toght hug rubbing my back, and at that moment I said fuck it I let it all out. With shit not going right in the studio and Tank not helping me make no moves and to top it of the love of my life walked out of my life and it was all my fault, I felt myself shaking because Bia was rocking me back and forth then she pulled me back and pulled of my shades and looked me dead in my eyes "Siya listen to me okay shit is going to happen for you, your the dopest MC I know and for you to be Gay at that and not let these motherfuckers change you I know this shit can be stressful but you gotta keep ya head up alright?" I sighed deeply and sat up straight sipping my water Bia handed me a napkin so I can wipe my face "I'm good B" I lied shit aint never good for me I felt her had caress my back "take a break for a while or something you doing to much at once" I nodded but it went through one ear and out the other because in the Industry it's even you go hard or go home and right now home aint where my head is. Bia stood up from her seat "you need a ride home? , nah" I shook my head "Im good B" she saw that I was lying so I stood up and put my Ray Bandz back on and headed out the buffet with me head down and my hands in my pockets, I tried not to over stress the situation but I couldn't it was getting the best of me and if I couldn't get my head together shit was bound to fall apart just as fast as it started. My phone started vibrating in my my pocket I fished for it and pulled it out and and some unknown number flashed across the screen, I hesitated for a moment ... I decided to answer it and before i could see who it was a familiar voice cut me off "aye is this Siya? , yeah" i said back "aye wassup bruh this is Chris" I removed my phone from my ear and looked at the screen to be sure that I just heard what I just heard "Chris Brown?" I asked an he replied back with a "the one and only" he laughed a bit and so did I "so I hear my boy Tank is your manager?" I said yeah nodding my head at the same time "well I wanna feature in one of your songs" Yo I swear I almost dropped m phone right where I was standing, that shit had my mind going everywhere because if Chris Brown feature in my song that would blow me up forreal and put me on the charts for sure "Aiight bro i gotchu" he laughed again "Well I'll be in New York tomorrow afternoon I'll hit you up once I land and when can hit the studio and get started, sound like a plan?" I got mad hype "hell yeah!" I said, this was it! after I hung up I called Tank and let him know what just went down with me and Chris agreement he was happy for me too. I got home and attempted to call Renaye but when I did she didn't answer, I guess she don't love me no more and just as fast as I got happy I got sad again.. I layed my head down on the sofa and cried myself to sleep.