pink

four

the day school went back, i woke up at 6am to see bea sitting on her side of my bed, looking at me intently with a sketchbook in her hand.
"fuck bea, save the portraits for art class" i teased, watching her blush. i grabbed the sketchbook from her and she hid her head in her hands. i put my arm around her and pulled her close to me before looking at the drawing.
holy shit.
i was expecting a half assed sketch of me sleeping she had done in a hurry, but this, she had clearly put time into.
"can i hang this up?" i asked after a few solid minutes of staring, and she nodded, tearing it out and handing it to me.

bea insisted on doing my hair for school that day, which i thought was cute. she decided on a half up bun, her favorite on me, and grabbed a hairbrush before carefully doing it. fifteen minutes later, i was ready and so was she.

as we stood in the entryway of my house, working up courage to step outside, i felt tears prick at my eyes, pushing away the idea of bea suddenly snapping into her senses and realizing she was too good for me. noticing, she pulled me into her arms, and kissed my neck softly before mumbling about how she would talk to rose.

we got on the bus, and pretended not to know each other. i snuck looks at her and stared at my shoes until the bus' turns began to feel familiar, and then stopped outside saint marys academy, and i felt a pit grow in my stomach. miserable, i'm miserable here, but what choice do i have?

the next few hours trudged by in dark green and emptiness at bea's absense. i only had geography on C days, meaning i would only see her in last period, art. soon, the lunch bell rang and i mentally prepared myself for forty minutes of sitting under the stairs and not eating, almost looking forward to it. it was quiet, familiar, and best of all, secret. i pulled my phone out, texting bea to ask if maybe she could sneak away from her friends for just a few minutes, but got no response.

suddenly, i heard commotion from down the hall, and the unmistakable sound of bea yell. i recognized it right away, her voice burned into my brain. not caring about secret stairways anymore, i ran down the hallway, expecting a hurt beatrice.

instead, what i saw was rose tackled on the floor, bea throwing punches at her like her life depended on it, while kids chanted and filmed all around me. the screams of "fight!" and pained shrieks coming from rose echoed in my ears, but all i could see was the blood smeared on bea's face, and a look i had never seen her wear before.

pushing someone to the side, i grabbed her arms, pulling her off rose and through the crowd. some teacher took her from me, and the  yells echoed, and i got a glimpse of rose, who admittedly looked much worse than bea, but all i could think about was the blood on her face and the mascara running down her cheeks.

an hour later, me and a suspended bea were walking to her house, which she claims wasn't far. she was suspiciously quiet, and i was holding her hand, silently willing her to explain to me why the most gentle girl i know was on the ground, fighting her best friend like she needed to to stay alive. suddenly, she rested her head on my neck and stopped walking, and i instinctually wrapped my arms around her.

and there we were, standing in the middle of the sidewalk in the january grey, holding each other. a few minutes later, she mumbled a muffled "i love you" through my shirt and pulled away, taking my hand again and leading me down the sidewalk once again, walking for a few blocks before ducking into a small bakery. it was adorable, decorated with hanging lights and a map on the wall with hearts dotted on it.

"maury! it's me!" she called out, and a man in his late twenties wearing an apron ducked out from the kitchen. he greeted bea, hugging her and fussing over her for a second before he turned to me. "is this her?" he asked beatrice, clearly trying to be conspicuous. she laughed, leaning into me. "yes genius, it's her." wondering who this mystery man was, and how he knew me, i gave bea a questioning look.

"billie, this is maury. hes been making you cookies for months."