Colors 2 // Jisungcentric

Back from death

Jisung gnaws his fingernails while he sits nervously in the café, where he saw Jaemin for a brief moment for the first time in a long time. He hopes that Jaemin will be here again today and that he can then apologize to him...?

He doesn't know what to say as soon as he comes under Jaemin's eyes. Above all, how will his "soulmate" react to him after years of assuming he was dead?
It won't be easy, Jisung is aware of that, but that bad feeling doesn't leave Jisung either and that worries him even more.

He breathes in and out deeply several times, hoping that this will make him calm down, but the heavy breathing only makes him even more nervous. Jisung doesn't even know if he'll meet Jaemin today, after all, he couldn't make a meeting.

He hopes (or not) that Jaemin will come through this glass door straight away, stand at the bar, order a coffee and then sit down at the table directly across from Jisung and if Jaemin is about to take a sip of his coffee, he will see Jisung while lifting up his cup.
They look lost in their eyes and just stare at each other for a few seconds. At this moment the time is like in slow motion. The cars slow down, the loud laughter falls silent around them and this eye contact is like a fireworks display that simply blows away all guilt and pain ...

But that's just Jisung daydreaming these feelings to him. Jisung is sitting in his place with the hot chocolate in his hand and staring into the air as he imagines this wonderful moment and has a big grin inside him, but on the outside he looks as if he has spaced out and does not get anything from reality.

And so he doesn't see the long-awaited boy entering the café, then getting a 'Namericano' and when he was just about to leave, he saw Jisung daydreaming...

Jaemin can't believe his eyes to actually see that adorable face again. He rubs his eyes in amazement, but whoever he sees sitting there is real and not one of his imaginations that he had from time to time. He walks slowly to Jisung and, still shocked, sits down across from him and says nothing.

Jisung is still not out of his daydreaming and has not even noticed Jaemin sitting down in front of him.
But when Jaemin touches Jisung's hand to make sure that he isn't dreaming yet, Jisung's dreams are torn and his eyes widen.
He looks straight into the eyes of Na Jaemin ..., the boy he loved incredibly, the boy who is his soulmate and they boy he left three years ago because of a relationship between them seemed impossible ...

"J-Jisung is it really you?" The older one asked with pain in his voice. The water was already collecting in Jaemin's eyes and his hand now completely embrace Jisung's hands. Jisung can barely move his hands.
"Yes ... Nana ..." he said with just as much pain in his voice.

Now Jaemin began to cry. It was just too much. All of his feelings, which he had tried to suppress and forget in the past three years, now came back in one fell swoop.

That pain ... that he felt when he lost him.

That confusion ... that was haunting him every night.

That anger ... that he carried inside himself for blaming himself for they boys death.

That fear ... of having lost forever the only person he ever really loved.

And now this feeling of ... he couldn't interpret it. Was it hate because Jisung lied to him for three years or was it love because he actually still did. He loved everything about this boy. His hair, his face, his size, his manhood ... everything.

"Wha -... How ...?", Jaemin asked confused, but didn't let go of Jisung's big hands. He was afraid that Jisung would leave him again and then forever. He never wanted to let go of the boy again.
"I-I'm so sorry Nana. I-I was scared ... I was young ... and stupid," he began to blame himself for everything.
"I-I took advantage of the plane crash to fake my death and decided to disappear forever. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I just couldn't. I was only 16 and didn't know what to do. You... You were happy with the other hyungs and I knew they will be there for you, but now I only feel guilt and hatred. Jaemin I hate myself for leaving you ", now Jisung started to cry and the tears flowed continuously down on his slightly reddened cheeks.

It broke Jaemin his heart to see Jisung like that. He already hates it when Jisung was sad back then and it hasn't changed. He immediately jumped up from his seat and took the younger boy in his arms. Jisung immediately wrapped his arms around Jaemin's waist as he buried his face in Jaemin's chest and cried.

Jaemin ran his hands in circles on Jisung's back and tried to calm him down. When it suddenly fell silent around Jaemin, he was worried. He lifted the boy a little and looked into a peaceful face. Jisung's face was all red and glowing.

"Jisung you have fever!"