Black Sheep // Amelia Shepherd

First time

I am so excited, shall we begin?

Something awful happened last night and I just don't feel like writing but wanna write at the same time. It's so freaking complicated. I'm just running from my feelings instead of dealing with them. The story of my life as I may say. Just keeping y'all posted.

TW: drugs, smoking, depression
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My name is Amelia Frances Shepherd and I'm 14 y.o. My father was killed when I was 5 during the robbery in the convince store. Afterward, everything fell apart. The only person I've got is myself. Sure, Derek is always here for me but he has his issues to deal with. My sisters are the exact opposite though. They are snarky hateful bitches. They try to act well when mom's around but I know that's not their true selves. Anyway, Derek is in medical school now, I wish I could be like him one day. But I-

"Amelia, dinner is ready, " called a voice from downstairs.

"Agh coming, " yelled a girl in return. She closed the diary and hid it under the mattress. That was her getaway, she would write everything in it that she couldn't tell anyone. And whenever she started the new one she would always write a little about herself. She stood up from the bed and took a look in the mirror. Amelia was a 14-year-old girl with dark long straight hair, her face was beautiful with a little number of freckles on her nose and cheeks. She hated them and always tried to cover them up until one day Derek said, "The sun kissed you, Amy, and left little marks. It's protecting you." Her eyes were blue like the sky on a sunny day which sparked every time she talked about something she was passionate about. But the older she got more rare sparks were appearing in them. Now she was looking in the mirror not recognizing the person she saw in the reflection. A girl who completely lost any desire in life, wearing some old hoodie and sweatpants, with hair that wasn't brushed for a long time. "Who is she?" she thought to herself.

"Amelia!" the voice called again. She slowly made her way downstairs not having any strength to move faster and sat on her usual spot at the dining table.

"Is Derek coming?" Amelia asked with the hope to hear yes in return.

"No," the woman answered putting a plate with some food on the table. That was her mother, Carolyn Shepherd. Amelia always thought that her mother didn't love her, never was there for her so they barely talk.

The girl sadly lowered her eyes, took the fork, and started to eat. The room was quiet as usual and Amelia tried to finish the food as fast as she could so she could come back upstairs, close her door and just be alone.

"Amelia, eat slower, it's bad for your stomach," Carolyn sternly said looking at her daughter. She didn't recognize her either, her pure happy little girl was now someone she knew nothing about. And maybe that was on her.

"I'm done," Amelia said getting off the table. The truth was she wasn't even hungry, she was just putting the food in her mouth because her mother would start asking questions, "I'm going to sleep."

"Okay," Carolyn heavily sighed, "good night."

"Mhm," the girl mumbled making her way upstairs. Her mother was watching her every step with hopelessness in her eyes. Carolyn finished her dinner alone wishing for Derek to be here, he was the only one Amelia opened up to. But he wasn't. She heavily sighed once again and started to clean up the kitchen.

Amelia went back to her room closing the door behind her and took her diary again.

But I'm not like him and I think I never will. I feel constant pain pierces my body and I wish it was physical. That way I could just go see a doctor. I miss my dad every single day and I can't even tell that to anyone, it's been 9 years. They would think I can't move on. How can I? Anyone except Michael Peterson, Mickey, he is my friend. The part that I like the most about him, he doesn't care what I say but he always listens.