Save me (Jc caylen)

Chapter 12: flashback

(Alissa's POV)

I gasped and threw myself upward. I immediately felt dizzy and fell back.

Holy shit, i thought.

Where am I? What's that beeping noise? What's going on? Why is my wrist wrapped? Why is it so dark?

Suddenly I heard a door open.

"Alissa please stay still while we check your reflexes, memory, and blood pressure."

What? I wondered.

The lights came on. My eyes adjusted and I found myself in a hospital. Why the hell am I here?

I sat up and looked around, trying to find a clue to why I'm here.

"Alissa, please stay still." The doctor looked at me sternly.

I let them do whatever, not really caring. "Wh-why am I here?" My voice sounded dry.

"You attempted suicide." He didn't even look at me.

I shook my head. I couldn't of. I promised myself that I would never attempt it again. Not after last time.

*Flashback*

I was done. I had had it. I was 17, and thrown around like a piece of dirt.

I rocked back and forth on my old bedroom floor, sobbing. I had a razor in my hand as my arms bled. Just barely enough. They weren't deep. Not at all.

I stood up, glancing at my ceiling fan. I reached up and spun it. Tears fell down my face as I considered it.

I let out a sob as I walked downstairs, knowing no one else was home.

I grabbed a rope my dad used for Boy Scout stuff with my brother.

Walking back up the stairs, my vision blurred. I sat on the step, and let out a cry. It was now or never.

I scurried up the stairs, and stared at the fan. I pulled my desk chair underneath it. Standing on it, I tied the rope to the fan, letting out a relived sigh.

I walked over to my desk, putting the suicide letter Id written over and over again in my free time and put it on my bed. I stood on the chair once more, pushing the rope, imagining what I would look like swinging from it.

I pulled it around my neck, cringing as tears fell.

I whispered an "I'm sorry." And realized I shouldn't be. I didn't cause myself to feel this way.

With that, I kicked the chair back. Little did I know, my family had just came home, and heard the chair fall.

My little brother came into my room to ask what happened, and saw me, half dead, hanging from the ceiling. I had traumatized him.

He fell to the floor, crying, screaming for my parents. My dad came and pulled me down, and I was screaming for him to let me go. My mom sobbed from the doorway, with Kyle in her arms.

My dad put me on the floor, and I stopped crying and thrashing to realize what happened.

I traumatized Kyle and my mom, and terrorized my father. I just put my family through watching me attempt suicide. Out of the three times I did it before, no one actually saw me do it, they just took me to the hospital afterwards.

Right then and there, I promised I would never ever put them through the pain I caused my family. I would never try again until they're dead.

*end of flashback*

But they weren't dead. What Triggered me so badly that I attempted again?

I needed answers. If I could remember what happened, something, anything, I would be okay.

But I couldn't remember.