Save me (Jc caylen)

Why?

(Alissa's POV)

It had been two days. I still couldn't remember the day I attempted. JC had came in, and he stayed with me all day yesterday, asking the same questions I had asked myself.

Kyle also came in, now being 15. He was crying, and almost yelling at me, asking why the hell I would do this to him again.

Right now, connor was here with me, telling me that I could be released tomorrow.

"Really? I get to go home?" I asked.

"Yes... But jc said that you had to live with us, or you're staying in as a permanent hospital patient."

What? I didn't think I was ready to live with someone again. The last one killed herself.

I panicked, not sure what to do. "I-I don't know if I want to, but I don't want to stay here. Connor, help." I pleaded.

He sighed, taking my hand. "liss, it's okay. Just stay with us for a while, okay? It'll be alright. We won't do anything to hurt you. Emotionally, physically, or mentally. We love you Alissa."

I nodded."o-okay."

Connor smiled. "Good, jc will pick you up tomorrow at 2, okay?"

I nodded, unsure of what to say.

~*~
The next morning, I got out of my hospital bed and walked into the bathroom, changing into my actual clothes. Kyle had brought me some.

I sighed, looking at myself in the mirror. I weighed 82 pounds, but all I could think of was fat. I was fat. I was ugly. I picked at my face, sighing. how could anyone love me? I'm all of these horrible things, and there's nothing good about me at all.

But jc sees good in me. He makes me feel loved. It's the first time I've ever felt it. And it's true. I feel wanted around him.

There was a knock on the door.

"Alissa, it's time to go home! Let's go!" I heard the excitement in Jc's voice. He was happy I was still around.

~*~

When we got to his house, everyone was in the livingroom, and they turned and looked at me when I came in.

"Yes...?" I said after a minute.

Trevor got up, pulling me into his arms. "Don't ever do it again. I don't know why you did, but I know we can't live without you."

There's that word again. "Why". Do I need a reason? And even if I did remember, I wouldn't have told you guys. It's personal information.

I sighed. "I- im sorry. I don't even know why I did. I can't remember the day I attempted."

"Y-you don't remember at all?" Kian asked. "Shit, that's messed up." Hw shook his head.

I don't know If it was supposed to be offensive, but that's the way I took it. "Kian, I don't think what's fucked up in my life even surfaces here. That's the furthest thing from messed up when I think about all my issues. So don't fucking judge."

He held his hands up in defense. "Sorry, I just wanna know why you tried. All of us do."

"I already told you, I can't remember. Now stop saying that word." I sat down.

"What word? Why?" Sam asked.

I nodded, giving him a glare.

So the whys ended and the life with boys began.