My heart is finally starting to heal

Just hold me

Joyce couldn't sleep. Anytime she heard a noise from downstairs she freaked out. But this was worse. She kept reliving the moment. Her breath would start to quicken, her heart rate would speed up, and she would get that sick feeling in her stomach. Earlier that night, ambulances, cop cars, and fire trucks sped down the street in front of their house, the combination of sirens and flashing lights through the windows triggered something in her.

Was there something wrong with her? she almost had a whole anxiety attack in the shower.
Could she have ptsd? No. It couldn't be. She needed to feel something. Anything to distract her from this. Hopper wasn't home. He has been called down to look over a car accident, and wouldn't be home until at least 2am. She had to talk to someone who would understand. It couldn't be El because she was already asleep and poor girl needed it. Will wasn't home so he wasn't an option.

Joyce stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself. She walked back into the bedroom to get dressed. She threw on her go to pajamas, yoga pants and a t-shirt. She walked to Jonathan's room, knocking on the door quietly. When he didn't answer she walked downstairs to look for him. Nowhere. So she checked outside. His car wasn't in the driveway. He left without telling her. It wasn't that big of a deal. But it still pissed her off. She didn't figure that he would take very long to come home.

Hours had passed and he still wasn't home. It was passed midnight, no phone call, no nothing. That was until he stumbled through the front door. Joyce arose from the couch. "Where the hell were you!?" She snapped. He collapsed onto the couch next to her, visibly drunk. "I went to my friends house."  He lied. "And got drunk?" She asked knowingly. He threw his hands up and scoffed. "WHY DOES IT MATTER SO MUCH!? IM AN ADULT, MOM!" He yelled.

There was fury in her eyes. "BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK! YOU COULD'VE DIED DRIVING HOME!" She yelled at him, anger and sadness clear in her voice. "I DONT NEED TO TELL YOU EVERY TIME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING BECAUSE IM A GROWN ASS MAN!" He roared back, turning to walk up to his room. She followed right behind him. "Do not walk away from me, Jonathan!"

"Leave me the hell alone!" He snapped, walking into his room. "And if you really want know, I went to the bar! Used my friends ID! Besides, you act like you never drank underage!" She stood in his doorway. "This isn't about me!" He walked up to her, backing her into the hallway.
"God just go away!" He groaned. "You know, sometimes I wish you would think before you acted!" She poked his chest. "And sometimes I wish you weren't my mom!"

He turned to walk into his room but she grabbed his arm. "God, what now!?" Jonathan snapped. "Jonathan ple-" She got cut off again. "Why do you have to be so annoying!? Because first I didn't understand, but now I can see why dad was the way  he was and did the things that he did to you."

It was silent, Joyce didn't stop him when he walked back into his room. She stood right there in the hallway for minute before going back into her room. Tears were streaming down her face as she climbed into bed. She curled into a ball underneath the blanket. She didn't hear Hopper come home until he opened the bedroom door. She wasn't facing him so he assumed she was asleep, so he just set his stuff down and changed into his pajamas. Jim climbed into bed, sighing at the feeling of his muscles relaxing.

But quickly went alert when he heard a sniffle from the other side of the bed. "Babe?" He called out quietly. There was a moment of silence. "Yeah?" Joyce responded shakily. He didn't say anything, just rolled over and gently pulled her into his arms. She started to cry harder into his shoulder.
"hey, hey, hey. What's going on?" He asked soothingly. She shook her head. "I just need you to hold me." She sniffled.

He kissed the top of her head, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I'm here."