Despair in the Departure Lounge

Chapter 10 - That Feeling Again

Four days had passed since Alex and I had last talked and agreed to be friends, I hadn't heard from him since, nor had I tried to get in contact with him, I guessed he had taken on some of my advice thought because on Friday night Arielle had called to cancel Wedding dress shopping on Saturday. I wasn't sure if Alex had broken up completely with her or just called off the wedding, either way I hoped it would avoid either of them getting hurt, neither of them deserved it.

At first I felt good about agreeing to just be friends with Alex but as the thought grew on me, the idea of never being anything more to him than a friend started to terrify me, sitting on a church bench watching another girl in a white dress holding a bouquet of pretty flowers walking down the aisle to meet him, going over to visit his new house he had moved into with that girl for a house warming, bringing over a gift when their first child was born, I started to really regret it. I realised, too late, that I loved Alex, that I couldn't bear to be without him. I pondered at the idea of telling him, but what if he thought I was just messing him about and couldn't make a decision. I didn't know what to do. Then the thought hit me, he must be going back to LA soon, surely the month was up! A wave of panic came over me, when he went back I would never get the chance to tell him how I felt. I texted him asking when he was going back and sat holding my phone staring at it, hoping I had miscalculated and he still had at least another week, my phone lit up, I slid open the text, to my horror one tiny word sat in the blue bubble, tonight. I called him as quickly as I could, he picked up almost instantly,

"Cara! 'ello,"

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving tonight?" I asked straight away,

"i didn't think you'd care, I know you said we were friends but does anyone ever really mean that? I thought you were done with me."

"What? ugh look what time's your flight leaving at? I need to talk to you before you leave."

"about what?"

"Doesn't matter right now, I need to talk to you in person, what time?" I pressed the question,

"You''re a bit late I'm afraid Cara, flight leaves in about an hour, I've already went through security,"

"No" I whispered quietly under my breath, "Look I'm coming to the airport now, try and hold off getting on the plane as long as possible,"

"Cara, they're not going to let you through, don't waste your time, just tell me now,"

"We'll see about them letting me through, goodbye Alex, see you soon," I said hanging up.

I grabbed my passport to get through security and ran out to my can and started the engine, it would take about 20 minutes to get to the airport as long as the traffic wasn't too bad. I drove fast, faster than I should have, I'd never had a speeding ticket but I had a feeling today would be the day. Thankfully I had just missed rush hour and got to the airport in about 25 minutes.

I ran in and went straight to security, the people working the security section eyed me suspiciously, noticing I had no bags and hadn't checked any in, as I was walking through the metal detector, of course, just when I really couldn't spare a second, it went off. I huffed impatiently as a female security officer searched me, she of course found nothing and let me through. When I got into the main departure lounge I checked the boards to find the flight Alex was on, Terminal G, I rushed around trying to spot it eventually I did, people were already boarding, I searched the crowd for Alex, there was no sign of him. I pushed my way to the front desk, angry people called after me to get to the back of the line but I ignored them and got to the front desk,

The flight attendant collecting the boarding passes didn't look particularly pleased at me doing this but didn't do anything about it, she put on an insanely obvious fake smile and over animated voice,

"Boarding pass and passport please,"

"Oh, ehm, actually I'm not getting on this plane, but I was wondering if you could let me through, my friend is through there and I really need to speak to him, I've got my passport,"

I tried to show her my passport but she pushed it back with her fake-tanned hands and long, sparkly fake nails,

"I'm sorry ma'am but unless you have a boarding pass, I'm afraid I can't let you through," she looked passed me in dismissal and called, "Next please!"

A large woman started to walk towards the desk but I didn't move,

"Excuse me ma'am, you're blocking the desk could you please move to the side?" she said in a voice I think was meant to sound kind but in fact sounded anything but.

"No, look this is really important, if you can't let me through can you at least tell me if he's on the plane yet?"

She huffed loudly in annoyance at me, "fine, what's his name?"

"Alex." I said quickly, "Alex turner."

She laughed, "Ohh, I see, you're some deranged fan of his who thinks they'll get to talk to him, ha! You couldn't anyway, he's in first class, he boarded ages ago."

"No, no, I'm not a deranged fan, I know him, please could you tell him Cara's here and see if he'll come and talk to me?"

"No can do. Now ma'am, please move to the side before I call security." she said firmly.

I reluctantly moved to the side trying to think of a way to get to him, as the queue got shorter and shorter, my panic got greater and greater, after the last family had gotten through I went back to the front desk for one last shot,

"Please, I can't tell you how much this means to me, please ask him if he'll talk to me."

She looked at me with soft eyes and for a second I thought she might actually do it. But then her look turned cold again,

"Please exit the airport ma'am, you will not be getting through." Her monotone voice going through me. She went through the door herself and locked it behind her. I sat on the floor and started to cry. So, this was it, despair in the departure lounge.