CRUSH RELOADED

Chapter 5

"Can I talk you?" I asked, Lexa excused herself from some suited up gents.

"This is not the right time, lots of people here. Important people." I know she's sad and it hurts but for some reason I can't bring myself down.

The worst thing was her reaction, so calm. I've seen this version of calm just before the storm but this was another kind. She didn't even avoid eye contact, girl looked me dead in the eye.

"Hannah is..."

"She likes you." Her finger curled a hair lock, twisting it around. "And like I said, not the right time."

"Excuse me, Lexa I need you to meet someone." It was the one called Spencer. With a kiss to my cheek she walked away.

And that was the last time I saw her there until I left with Hannah, she had already heard from the grapevine that Lexa and I are an item. Go ahead and picture the awkwardness, it was madness, we hadn't spoken to each other on our way back and I had her drop me at Lexa's.

If that didn't make the all thing awkward since she didn't even ask for the address.

"Okay I'm going to just say it. I like you Clarke but Lexa is good friends with Alison. I've hanged a lot with her to know that she cares deeply about you."

"I was enjoying our friendship. Now it's all tented."

Avoiding the other thing. Of course I knew she liked me. I'm just crazy i can't even explain myself, I was leading her on knowing I wouldn't cross the line.

"I had a good time though."

She just scoffs and I get out of the car the quickest way possible. The car pulls out and I hate what I did. This was supposed to be fun not depressing.

Lexa wasn't home yet, probably partying hard with Ontari. I make myself comfortable drinking her wine she keep just for me because of how much I like it. Thirty minutes go by and instead of reflecting I'm pissed at her.

Headlights flash through the room, nerves and sweat dripping down my spine. Another fight, another day right?

Maybe I should apologize.

I convince myself that her kisses are more important, so I sit there and wait. "Surprised to see you here." That's the first thing that comes out of her mouth. Her shoes knocking on the wooden floor as she approaches me. "Done marking the homework?"

"Lexa please let's not act."

"Act? My girlfriend cancelled on me because she's tired, work is stressing her out." Here we go again.

"You stressing me out right now."

Her laugh came out sharp as she dropped on the love couch. "Why you here?"

"I was going to apologize but then I realize that I did nothing wrong. I can change my mind to."

"What does that supposed to me."

"You keep acting like you're perfect, I know I had made a mistake but that was a long time ago. So when are you going to stop punish me for it?" standing up because the emotions in me where charging up. "I'm human but you keep acting like Madi was a mistake."

Anger explodes in her eyes. Her knuckles clench so hard, yet she remains sited. "Don't get it twisted, you getting pregnant was a mistake, nothing will change that fact. It wasn't planned, all it did was mess with my head. Mistake or not we parents, your mistake gave us a child."

It was like someone kicked me in the stomach, we finally having the big talk that was avoided when she left for Trikru. "is this you speaking or Ontari?"

"What does she have to do with this?"

"Everything, you returned the ring after talking to her. What really happened between you two?"

Her relaxed position made me sick. "Are you sick? We already had this conversation."

"Lexa did you sleep with her?"

"What does messing around mean to you? i am tired for this shit. I didn't return the ring because of anyone but myself."

"That bitch likes you!" I was yelling my vein was about to pop out. She stood up abruptly having me step back a little. But I didn't stop. "Yet you spending time with her. Does she have your balls or something?"

"You better tune that down. Hell am I going to let you think it was okay to pull up with someone else at an event you declined. Don't act like you're a victim, you want specifics? Fine I fucked Ontari left to right, I was her first and she was mine. All that stopped the day I kissed you but she will always be my best friend."

I open my mouth to say something and Lexa yells in my face. "Not everything is about you, I was hurt and ran from my feelings. My bad, try being eighteen and find out that you just got a woman pregnant just when your dreams are about to take off. I said yes because I would love to be your wife but the ring was just a rushed out thought because I found it, right?"

Shit I feel like I'm drugged up.

"Clarke leave before I lose it."

"No we need to..."

The wine glass goes flying against the wall. Her hands are trembling "you dare come into my house to make me feel guilty about going to school, do you know how many people pass the bar exam?" her voice rumbled, the green monster was out. "Then you disrespect me and make a fool out of me tonight."

When I took long to answer she threw the vase at the television. It made me flinch and drop down on the couch. I didn't even here the door open, nor the click of shoes until I heard her stupid voice.

"Lexa?" green eyes were glued on me, it's like she rip off my soul and split it in half. "What's going on?"

"You've always thought I was young and stupid." Lexa said approaching me as if she wasn't even close. Ontari jumped in and pulled her by the arm, I stood quickly like the couch was burning my ass.

I can't believe Ontari is once again saving the day.