Betrayed

Chapter 11

Asanda's POV

I'm lying in bed at Vusi's place, waiting for him to come and talk. His parents are home, so I'm chilling in here. To be honest, I overheard what he said to Lihle two weeks ago, but I never bothered to ask Lihle about it. I'm done with Vusi, and if he wants to break up, he needs to hurry up so I can move on to Lihle.

I know he cheats, which is why I've been avoiding sex with him - I don't want to risk getting hurt or sick. The real reason I've been distant is that I'm still reeling from what happened at the party. Lihle protected me, and it really made an impact. Since then, I can't stop thinking about her.

When she's not being aloof, she's truly amazing. I hope it's not just a friends-with-benefits situation with us, because who wouldn't want someone like her all to themselves? And let's be real, I'm only still with Vusi because of Lihle.

She told me I deserve someone who appreciates me, and I know she could be that person if she wasn't playing games. And oh, when I saw her without a shirt on, she knew exactly how I felt cause she was all over me that day.

I never thought someone could turn me on with just a kiss, especially since Vusi has been lackluster since we got together. I'm relieved I'm still in matric, so I can use my age as an excuse to hold onto my virginity.

Right now, there's only one person on my mind, and I long to be with her, but I can't raise suspicions, so I have to be available whenever Vusi wants to see me. Ugh, I hate this.

He came inside his room, apologized for the delay, and I asked, "What's up?" trying to get this over with. I'm not thrilled to be here, essentially asking, "Why am I even here?" Honestly, I don't want to be here at all.

"I'm just gonna get into it..." He says, sitting down at his study desk. I sigh inwardly, eager to get this conversation over with.

"Asanda, I'm sorry. For everything I've ever done to you," he says, his voice laced with regret. "I realize now that I took you for granted, assuming you'd always be there and never leave. I haven't been the best boyfriend, or even loyal, but I want to change that. I want to take the chance to get to know you, and explore our relationship. I want things to work out between us."

He looks at me vulnerably, his eyes sincere. "Asanda, I want to love you how you deserve. And I know I can, if I put in the effort. I'm willing to change for you." His words are a mix of apology and promise, and I'm not sure what to make of them.

"I hope I'm not too late," he says, his words laced with a hint of desperation.

Guys, man, I really wish I wasn't at this point, but I'm not him. I can't string him along when I know damn well I don't love him anymore. My focus has even shifted from this relationship.

"Yoh, Vusi," I say, my voice barely above a whisper, my mind racing with thoughts of Lihle. "I'm... I don't know," I admit, shaking my head in frustration.

"You don't have to make up your mind now, just please consider what I said," he says, his eyes pleading with me to give him another chance.

"But Vusi, it's too late," I say, my voice firm but laced with a hint of sadness. I look down in defeat, knowing that I can't keep pretending anymore.

"Asanda, I'm sorry. I'm willing to do anything—" he starts to say, but I cut him off, knowing that I need to be honest with him, and with myself.

"Please don't," I say, my voice firm but laced with sadness. "I'm glad you feel that way, because now you can give that energy to somebody else."

"Vusi, the past two years have been miserable for me. I haven't been happy, maybe just the first few months, but after that, you made me fall out of love for you, slowly, every day."

"Now that you're serious is when I'm over it," I say, standing up to emphasize my point.

He stands up, his eyes pleading, and comes in front of me. "Asanda, please. I'm begging you," he says, his voice cracking with desperation.

He goes down on his knees, his hands clasped together. "I'm sorry," he says, his eyes brimming with tears.

I look at him, and for a moment, I see the boy I once loved. But that boy is gone, and in his place is a stranger who has caused me pain.

"Vusi, I'm also sorry, but I'm over this," I say, my voice firm but laced with a hint of regret. I turn to leave, knowing it's time to end this chapter of my life.

On my way out, I bid farewell to his parents, trying to be respectful despite the emotional turmoil inside me.

As I step out into the fresh air, I can't shake off the guilt. I feel terrible for what I've just done, but I know I had to be honest with myself and with Vusi.

The back-and-forth, the toxicity, the mistrust, and the disloyalty have taken a toll on me. I tried to make it work, but Vusi made it impossible. He ruined everything, and now it's time for me to move on.

I hope that with time, Vusi will find it in his heart to forgive me, but for now, I need to focus on healing and finding my own happiness.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm at Lihle's place, seeking solace and hoping she'll give me the answer I desire. I recount the events with Vusi, my heart racing with anticipation.

"Yeah, so just a summary," I say, trying to gauge her reaction.

Lihle's eyes widen, and she takes a deep breath. "So, vele, you really don't love him?" she asks, her voice gentle but curious.

"I do, but I want to explore things... with you," I confess, my heart pounding in my chest. I pray silently, "Please, let her say what I want to hear. Please, Lord."

Lihle's response catches me off guard. "Asanda, iii... I just wish you didn't do that," she says, her words trailing off. I look at her, confusion etched on my face, wondering what she means.

"Asanda, I don't date. I don't really have feelings for you," Lihle says bluntly, her words piercing my heart.

"I advised Vusi to work things out with you, and he told me he didn't want to, so the fact that he's actually trying shows how he feels for you," she continues, her logic making sense, but hurting me nonetheless.

"I'm not willing to give myself to you and fall in love. In short, Asanda, I think you should go give things a try with Vusi, because you won't get loyalty with me," she says, her words feeling like a rejection.

Not gonna lie, my heart broke there. "I'm sorry," she says, her apology offering little comfort.

"So, when we had sex...?" I ask, my voice trailing off, hoping for an explanation.

Lihle shakes her head, her silence speaking volumes. The truth hits me like a ton of bricks - I was just a fling, a momentary pleasure, not someone she genuinely cared for.

"It was just that. Sex. Nothing more," Lihle says, her words piercing my heart like a cold knife.

"Asanda, I told you we can't be fuck buddies, because I know. So, Asanda, Vusi is most probably gonna treat you better. You never know with him, but me, I'm supposed to be your last resort. Don't ever think you can fool yourself by counting on me. I don't have feelings," she says, her words a harsh reality check.

I kiss my teeth, nod my head, and leave without saying a word. I'm done with this. I'm never putting myself out there again, never being honest about my feelings, never making the first move again. This was the first and last time. I'm closing this chapter, and I'm not looking back.