Never Not In Love

c h a p t e r • f o u r

When I tell you I almost choked, I am not lying. Tangina. I had to cover my mouth kasi kung hindi, for sure, may lalabas na butil ng kanin sa bibig ko! I lightly slapped my chest. Dali-dali namang pumunta sa kung saan si Theodore. It didn't take long before he came back with a glass of water.

"Here." Inabot niya sa akin iyong baso. He sat back down and stayed silent until I put down the glass. I couldn't look at him!

"So... did you?" Aba't! Hindi ba siya marunong bumasa ng social cues? I was obviously not comfortable with talking about that kiss.

"Pwede ba huwag na lang natin iyon pag-usapan?" I asked. Pagtingin ko sa kanya, nakangiti ang gago. Halatang naaaliw sa pang-aasar sa akin.

"Bakit naman? I have the right to hear an explanation, you know? That was basically sexual assault," he said. "But you kissed me back!" I defended myself.

"So, you're saying just cause my body responded, you are not guilty? Do you know how badly rape victims get shamed because their body reacted to their attacker?" What the fuck? Ba't pakiramdam ko parang ginagaslight ako ng lalaking 'to?

"Are you calling me a rapist?"

"No, of course not. I'm just trying to prove my point. Bottomline is you kissed me without my consent. And sabi ng Department of Justice, any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient is sexual assault." He shrugged before he proceeded to eating a spoonful of rice. I rolled my eyes at him. Mabulonan sana ang unggoy.

"How do you know about the DOJ's definition or something? PolSci ka ba? Ibig sabihin ba no'n, bodily responses to sexual advances doesn't constitute as consent kasi explicit kailangan, diba?" Tanong ko. He sounded so smart. Ang gwapo.

"Nope. Psychology ako no'ng college. Narinig ko lang iyon sa kaibigan ko na PolSci. He kept saying it out loud habang nagme-memorize siya. Ayon, nadamay utak ko." He chuckled. "I'm not sure pero ganon din pagkakaintindi ko." I nodded in understanding.

"Graduate ka na pala?" Tanong ko. Akala ko magka-edad lang kami.

"Last year lang. I'm currently on a gap year. Med school na ako next year. Ikaw, ano course mo?" He asked. Hindi muna ako sumagot since may laman pa yung bibig ko. Duh. Basic table manners.

"Aeronautical Engineering. Already on my third year." I answered with pride. Hindi uso pa humble dito oy. Ang hirap kaya ng course ko tapos umabot ako ng third year. Take that, Teacher Gina. Kapal ng mukhang tawagin akong bobo no'ng grade 3. Hindi nakatakas sa paningin ko ang bahagyang ngiti sa mga labi ng lalaking kasabay ko sa pagkain.

"Damn. Should I call you Engr. De Luz para law of attraction?" Biro niya. I chuckled.

"Parang mas masarap pakinggan iyong Capt. De Luz. Pero I'll take whichever." Kung kanina ay nakangiti lang si Theodore, ngayon ay umiiling na siya. "What?"

"Wala. Wala." Hindi na ako nag-tanong pa. Madami pa kaming pinag-usapan. Nalaman kong pamangkin pala siya ni Tito Tobias. We have so much in common, like our wide selection of preferred music and movie genres, but we also have our fair share of differences. He's a home body and he rarely travels. Hindi siya mahilig sa coffee crumble ice cream because, according to him, coffee and ice cream together just doesn't make sense. He also said, and I quote, "People who like that flavor are psychopaths." I took offense from that. To think he has a psychology degree.

We didn't talk about the kiss again. Thank God. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin na nandoon iyong ex ko kaya ginawa ko iyon. It would be awkward as hell. Hindi nagtagal, it was time for me to go. The airport was an hour and a half away so kailangan ko nang bumyahe kung ayokong malate.