Uncontrolled

4

New content and a plot change - welp.

I hope you guys won't be too mad with me, that will probably have repercussions on the future chapters, everything felt so rushed so I'm trying to slow things down a little, to deepen the scenes, the process, there will probably be a few new chapters between the already existing ones, so please be patient with me!

Your POV

Finally at home, I change into comfortable clothes before going to the kitchen to stare at the lunch box on the counter, the sight of it reminding me of just how much of a mess today was.

Jin and Namjoon's words keep swirling in my head and I hate that.

I hate that everything they say takes such deep roots in my mind. It's only the first time we met, yet they already try to have an impact in how I live and my soul is needy for approval, to make them happy.

They'd be happy, sure, but what about me? It's my life we're talking about, my decisions will affect me first, them second.

How could creating a bond with my magic help in any way? They don't know, they don't understand and it shows. Surely they've seen the videos, everyone has, you can clearly see that it's not like regular magics, it's powerful and wild, so how would a bond keep it from doing terrible things?

Removing my collar at home? That sounds way too dangerous, I could never. I don't even want to entertain the thought of doing such a thing.

I sigh and rest my forehead on the cold marble counter, the freezing feeling spreading to my skin enough to numb the headache resulting from an overcharged day.

If it wasn't... if mom and dad didn't do what they did, maybe I'd have a totally normal life right now. I'd meet my soulmates, our magic would reach out to one another and it would be a beautiful story.

We'd get to know each other, we'd be happy, all smiles, no pain. We'd go on little dates, sometimes surprise, unplanned ones, we'd hold hands, shy glances, pecks on the cheeks that would slowly grow towards a kiss on the lips. It would be sweet, romantic, a life made to live with my soulmates.

But they took that away from me. They took that life away from me and in return, my magic took theirs and way more. Nothing good can come from being with me. Nothing good can come from being bonded to such... a disgusting thing.

I leave the lunch box where it is and head to the living room to lie down on the couch, too overwhelmed to process everything properly, yet I don't have a choice but to try anyway because every single piece of information crashes and fights with each other in my head, needing to be organized, understood, planned.

What do I do now? How do I deal with my soulmates? What is the right thing to do? It's clear to me that I'm going to have to be careful from now on when I go outside, when I go anywhere. The soul pull seems to be very intent on having us meet no matter where I go and I can't have that happen too often.

Should I just disappear? That would make everything so much easier to face, or to avoid.

The thing is - I have no idea how my soul would react to putting distance between us. How much would it affect me? Surely my magic would hate that, it would hate me, doing so might make things even worse for me.

If not disappearing, I need to at least keep my distances for now, I need to give my soul some time to recover before I go to them again. I will need to dose the meetings, but most of all, I can't be seeing all of them all at once every single time. Today was too much.

I'm lucky that this week is a week off, I can take it easy, stay at home and just... relax. I know I will have to talk to Sung-kyung about what I saw in the building, about what I heard, it's going to be needed for their case, that I don't mind, as long as it's just with her.