blondie [muke af]

thirty seven

thirty seven

Michael took a bite of his lunch sandwich, chewing loudly and with his mouth open. With Luke out shopping, there was no one to scold him for his ill table manners. He flipped through the newspaper, reading a few cover stories.

Cy sat next to him, his elbows leaning on the kitchen island. "So," he spoke.

"So," Mike repeated, licking crumbs off of his fingers.

"W—what's happening between you and Luke?" He asked quickly, not wanting to drag on the words more than he had to. Cyril really liked Luke and didn't want him finding excuses to leave the house. He missed Luke constantly around complaining about the smell of tuna or the color of the bathroom wall.

"I'm not sure, Bud," Michael answered, standing up to take his dish to the sink. He was in sweats and a baggy tank top, both items of clothing had odd stains on them and were in dire need of a wash.

"I really like him, I want him to be happy, too."

"Don't worry about him and I, okay? Just make sure you're happy first, you're number one," Michael said, running a hand through his hair as he leant up against the kitchen counter. He was now facing Cy, their green and brown eyes staring at one another.

"I know, it's just—." Cy was at a loss of words.

"Cy, I love you, a lot. You are not an accident, the world needs you. Without you, something will be missing in my life and nobody can replace that." Michael felt like he needed to tell his only family member left that he loved him. He didn't want his little brother falling down into a dark space, Mike is afraid that he wouldn't be able to pull the fifteen-year-old back up.

Cyril let his head rest on the cold counters, he was not any better than he was months before. He stills feels like a mess, like a wreck. He feels like a hurricane, like a tornado. He can feel everything coming to an end, and it scares him.

The brunette hasn't slept in two weeks, he hasn't dreamt in longer. Oh God, he misses wanting to wake up. He opens his eyes and wants to only close them once more. Sleep is the closest thing he'll have to death but he never wants to admit that.

Cy is afraid that one day he will close his eyes and he'll never open them again. He tries to clear the thoughts from his head because one day everything will end. One day, everyone will stop breathing and there will be nothing left. Not the static sound of the television, or the calm waves of music. There won't be the smile of his brother or the laugh of Luke. He doesn't want to see it end, he wants to see himself end.