verbatim - c.hood | social media

twenty

a r i a n a

i never liked parties. forcing myself to go was only something i did for the sake of others, a prime example being milena. i did, however, always find an excuse to slip away. one way or another, i was home by midnight, and personally i had no issue with that whatsoever.

tonight, however, was different. i refused to put up with anyone's bullshit. i felt like i had evolved somehow. i didn't care where i was or when i was getting home. like any troubled party girl existing in the world, i wanted to drink my problems away rather than face them.

the problem before was as follows: calum came all the way here from sydney to bring me home and win my heart. cristiano, however, is shooting knives at him with his eyes, as he doesn't happen to like the second part of this little mission he's on. personally i believe that it's all completely ridiculous and unnecessary.

honestly, why do men?

so much has happened, i just want one night to myself where i don't have to worry and all i can do is forget it all. one shot, two shots, three shots, four, i kept going and didn't stop. at this rate, i was lost in my own mind, thoughts racing and all just everywhere. i had no idea where milena or giuliano had gone. i did however, find cristiano rather quickly. well, he seemed to have found me, more drinks along with that as well.

"here, bella, salute." he smiles, though everything from this point on seems somewhat fuzzy yet vivid at the same time.

i take the drink and down it with ease, and feel cristiano's arm wrap around me, but it leaves quickly as someone else approaches us.

calum.

"ariana, i think you should slow down with the drinks—"

"she's fine." cristiano says, stepping in front of me.

"she doesn't look fine." calum says, stepping towards him. "i'm taking her home."

"and how're you going to do that? she doesn't want you here anyway."

"let her speak for herself, asshole."

"what did you say—"

"alright!" i stood up, stumbling a little, calum pushing right past cristiano to help me stand up steadily. "thank you- i think... i think.. i'm going home, bye!"

so maybe i was a little bit drunk. just a little bit. and itty bitty little bit.

"ariana, wait, slow down." calum said, pulling me in front of him and brushing some of my hair out of my face. "i'll take you home, come on."

i let calum take me home. in my drunken state i somehow managed to show him how to get back, but it was pretty successful. we went inside, he brought his things upstairs, and i collapsed on my bed.

note to self: do not drink and party.

"ariana, are you okay?"

"mhm, just tired." i say a bit more quietly, sitting up after a couple more minutes. "why did you come here, calum?"

"why did you leave?"

"i asked you first."

"i..." he sighed and sat down next to me. "i came here for you. after the accident, i just never heard from you. then luke told us that you left and i just... i had to bring you back."

i looked at calum for a moment, myself sobering up a bit more, and i just took him in. he looked okay, better than okay. but at the mention of the accident, a little had formed in my stomach that didn't seem like it was going to settle anytime soon.

"i'm sorry." i blurted out. "the accident, not talking to you, leaving, all of it, i'm so sorry. all i do is ruin everything, god, she was right."

"who was?"

"what? no one." i shook my head. "and to answer your question— actually, nevermind, i don't even have an answer for you."

"ariana." calum said, looking directly at me. "who was right about what?"

"calum, i can't—"

"ariana, who the fuck made you leave?"

"i can't tell you!"

we both sat there for a second, looking at each other. calum looked so lost and confused. i know he cares, but i can't make things worse for him. taking his best friend and making her his enemy would just be horrible. i couldn't break him like that, i just couldn't.

"ariana, you have to tell me, please." he
pleaded. "i don't care about who it is, i just need to know, please tell me who caused all of this."

"i can't tell you." i shook my head.

"why not?"

"i can't hurt you even more than i already have." i told him.

he seemed confused at first, but then he understood. the accident, me leaving, he pieced that together so far. whether or not he figured out the other part was yet to be revealed.

"ariana... the accident wasn't your fault." he told me, taking my hands into his. "i don't care about soccer or any of that, i'm okay, really. the guys and i are pursuing the band full time, we're going to be fine. and i know you were hurting, it's okay that you left. but i want to know who convinced you to, because i want to bring you home."

"calum, if i tell you, it'll hurt you knowing. i can't do that to you, i'm sorry."

"...you said she."

"what?"

"there's only one person who could've said something to you where it would hurt me if they knew it was them." he said. "it's harper, isn't it?"

tears filled my eyes, at this rate i couldn't bring myself to look at him. i felt so guilty about everything that had happened. i didn't do anything to stop it either. i thought i could handle it, and i didn't want anyone to handle it all for me, i didn't want to let my guard down.

calum pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. i calmed down after that, and we just sat there for awhile, myself mumbling i'm sorry quite a few times.

"the guys told me, they told me to stay away from her." he said, and he sounded so disappointed. "i'm so sorry, ariana."

"calum, it's okay—"

"but it's not, and none of us saw what was going on before it was too late." he said.

"i'm okay, calum, really." i said. "i just want to get some sleep right now."

"okay." he nodded and kissed my forehead.

"stay with me?"

"always."