I woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. Panting, I tried to clam down. After the Good Charlotte memory I continued having flashbacks that went horribly wrong. Each one had the person I was with turned into a black eyed, deep voiced monster. Memories from school to birthday party's and family holidays all ruined.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! LUKE?!" Ashton burst into my room. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just seen the end of the world. I didn't reply and burst into tears. Ashton calmed down seeing I wasn't hurt and sat next to me. He reached over and shut off my music that had been playing. We sat in silence for a while as I tried to calm down once again.
"Luke, I don't know what happened, but it's getting worse." Ashton said quietly. He sounded defeated.
"No, I'm okay. I must have been listening to a weird song or something that made my dreams change. I'm okay. I'm okay" My voice trailed off. I didn't know if I was trying to convince myself or Ashton.
" I don't know who you're trying to convince but Lukey everything's not okay."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to dream therapy the next day. Ashton convinced me that it would help if I talked to someone about what I saw. I want to talk to Michael. The doctors don't want me too but he understands, everyone else believes I'm crazy. Maybe I'm starting to believe them. The Doctor, Doctor Esma, told me I need to stop listening to music before I go to bed. She said my brain would calm down if I didn't have more information being absorbed while it was trying to calm down for the night. Sounds like bullshit to me but I told her I would. I was planning to ignore her when I got home ,but she told Ashton before we left and I knew he would take her side.
" Look, Ashton I know I'm not supposed to listen to music but it calms me down. How am I supposed to stay calm if I don't have what helps?"I tried reasoning with him as he wrapped the cord around the base of my speaker. We had gotten to the house and Ashton, as always, was listening to the doctor instead of me.
" Luke," Ashton let out a sigh "I have to trust the professionals. I'm sorry."
Ashton patted my shoulder reassuringly and walked out with the speaker.
I felt like screaming. These doctors don't know anything. If they want to help me they'd listen to what I say instead of just using the same "remedy" they use on every patient they have.
Groaning I fell back onto my bed. Without music the thoughts ran wild, not happy daydreams terrible nightmares. I did the only thing I could think of to stop the pain of the nightmares.
"Michael?"
A/N OHHH Michaels back! Sorry the updates are slow. I have midterm things this week in French and my studio is so busy preparing competition and performances. I'm trying to write when ever I have time but it's hard to find time and really write how I want. Hopefully I'll write during spring break.
No hard feelings? :)
YOU ARE READING
The voice inside my head
Fanfic"Don't waste your time our time on me your already the voice inside my head." "Michael? Are you there?" I ask timidly alone in my room. "Right here." I smile as I hear his voice fill my head. Sadly it's only in my head.
