Arena

Twenty Two

Alissa

My heart is still racing when we get back to the woods.

Lana and the girl, I think her name is Elle, are talking in low voices and Jace and the girl who I'm sure is his sister are sitting against a tree.

Carter hasn't let go of my hand since they sent us outside, and I'm pretty sure if he had I would've broken down completely.

I can pretend to be strong and aggressive in front of other people, but when I saw him with a knife to his throat...I cracked.

He's the only person who knows what I went through and didn't think I was just seeking attention when I told him.

I don't let people in easily, I learned that whenever I do they just hurt me more and leave without a second thought.

He wasn't like that. He let me do things on my own time, valued my trust instead of breaking it.

I still don't know what's going on with us. There's love there, yes, and friendship, but neither of us are willing to take the next step into a relationship when our future is so uncertain.

I haven't spoken to anyone since we got back, just preferring to sit against a tree with my head leaning on his shoulder.

~~~

The silent dusk around me is a welcome change from the chatter and curiosity earlier.

I take a deep breath of the crisp air and blow it out slowly.

Carter sits down beside me and I automatically lean into him.

"If you had three wishes, what would they be?" He asks softly, brushing hair out of my face.

I sigh. "A normal life for both of us, steady income and to cut all ties with my family. What about you?"

"To go back to how things were before, for people to see the reality of things, and," he tilts up my chin so I make eye contact with him. "For you to stop doing this to yourself."

"What d'you mean?" I ask softly.

"Alissa, you might be able to fool everyone else, but I know you. You've been holding back a breakdown all day. You feel like you need to be the tough one and you push your emotions down."

Tears well in my eyes, and I let them fall. He doesn't realize I'm crying until I wipe my eyes and he jolts into action.

My head is immediately resting on his shoulder and he's rubbing my back as I let out a string of quiet sobs.

"I'm scared." I finally manage to say.

"I know. But we just have to figure this out. We've been through worse, we can do this." He whispers soothingly, and I bury my face in his shirt, while he lets me cry.