To The Moon and Back

𝟐𝟕 | 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐡

Z E N I T H

The point in the sky or celestial sphere directly above an observer.

T O T H E
M O O N & B A C K

I THINK I was fucking high.

I don't remember the exact details of my consciousness, because one minute, I was standing at the foot of my apartment with my arms around my twin sister and the next minute—I was banging on Solar's door like the police.

Bang. Bang. "Solar, open the fuck up!"

He takes a few minutes to get to the door. I think he knows the reason why I'm here.

Alula left my house just before I left to drive here. She still looked devastated but the atmosphere between us felt lighter as we said goodbye. We felt lighter. I think that had to of been the first time in at least two years where she had left without the reason for her tears being my doing.

I stare up at a break in the clouds, where the zenith is. The crying sky. And then the door creaks open.

I stare back at the person I once recognized as my best friend. Even though he looks the same, I don't recognize this person staring back at me anymore—not his curls, not his once kind eyes, and not that fucking pathetic look of faux innocence.

"Atlas," as he says my name, all the colour drains from his face. "What're you doing here?"

I notice the way he tries to fill the doorway like he doesn't want me to come in. I have no intention of entering and making myself comfortable on his couch, but I do know that I don't plan on beating his fucking ass right here in the pouring rain. either.

I clench my jaw, averting my gaze to the mud forming beneath my wet shoes and the sound of Alula's sobs ring in my ears. Then my eyes find his again and I find my words running away from me all over again and it's not because I'm scared or because I want to back out of what I'm about to do but because I don't know which way to approach the situation.

"Hey, can we talk for a second?" he says uncomfortably. When I don't nod, he continues. "I guess your sister spoke to you, that's why you're here."

Wow, Solar. How the fuck did you make that assumption?

I scoff, shaking my head as he shifts from one foot and onto the other. "Which one?" I play dumb. 

He groans and runs his hands over his face. I know he just wants to know if I know whether he hurt her or not.

"Look," he lets out an exasperated sigh, moving his curls out of his eyes, stepping outside onto the grass in front of his house. "She's not answering any of my calls or texts, just—just tell her I'm sorry, okay?"

I take a few steps forward until I'm only inches away and we're almost at eye level except he's just a tad shorter.

I stare at him, unblinking. "Sorry for what?" I press.

Solar rolls his eyes, clearly agitated with my lack of forwardness. "Man, can we not do this right here? I just wanted to say—"

"That you're sorry." I finish his sentence and he nods. I click my tongue, shaking my head. And then I laugh. For a moment he does too because he thinks I actually find this situation amusing but then I stop and his smile falters. I lower my head slightly, forehead creased. "Sorry that you're a selfish cunt? Or sorry because you hurt my fucking sister." when his jaw drops, I laugh, like really laugh. "What? Don't want mummy hearing that her perfect little son likes to hurt girls?"