To The Moon and Back

𝟑𝟕 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

L I B E R A T I O N

An effect caused by the apparent wobble of the Moon as it orbits the Earth. The Moon always keeps the same side toward the Earth, but due to libration, 59% of the Moon's surface can be seen over a period of time.

T O  T H E
M O O N & B A C K

JUST BEFORE IT hits three o'clock, I drive slowly into the London Prep car park, taking up one of the only spare parks. I don't have a phone to be able to message Rory and inform her that I'm here, so I sit and wait, hoping that she will exit via the front and not the back.

I turn my keys in the ignition, silencing my car as I lean back in my seat.

It's almost been three weeks since I have seen her.

After Alula took me to the hospital, I had to get stitches, then stay behind for further observation. For once, Alula didn't tell my mother or father, and so she remained with me during my entire stay. Sleeping with me each night, keeping me company during the day. For once, it was nice to not be alone.

She didn't pity me nor make me feel worse by telling me how disappointed she was. In fact, some days, we wouldn't even talk. We would simply sit there, watching the advertisements on the small television like it wasn't the most miserable fucking form of entertainment ever.

I got out two days ago and since have done absolutely nothing. Again, Alula stayed with me at my apartment, telling our parents that she was helping me with college work. Little do they know that yesterday, I officially unenrolled from college.

My mother can bribe the chancellor all that she wants but everyone knows that college isn't for me. It isn't what I want and my attending there serves no purpose considering I have failed multiple years, passed very few assignments, and understood absolutely nothing.

The only reason that I stayed so long, was for her. But now that she's taken a step back, I can actually do what I want. Even though I don't really know what I want at all. I want to see Everly but I don't want to leave Alula again. Or Rory.

Rory.

I feel like shit for not seeing her in so long. For not telling her what has been happening with me. But she doesn't know that I'm bipolar and if I told her that I stopped taking my medication which then drove me to suicide, she wouldn't be able to process it.

Honestly, though. I have felt like complete shit since going to the hospital because they quite literally forced me to take my medication and now I have to repeat the cycle of adjusting again. I have never quite finished adjusting because the journey to getting there is one that I can't handle. So much as breathing hurts. I'm exhausted and have a loss of appetite. I don't know if I'm sad or numb or angry. I don't know what I feel.

I never do.

If I wasn't leaving for Canada in two days, I would have pushed off seeing her for longer just because of the fact that I'm amidst the early days of taking my meds again. But I can't leave without seeing her first.

Today is the first day that I have actually been anywhere in over a week, excluding the hospital bed or my bed.

The bell sounds abruptly pulling me from my thoughts and I sit and wait, watching as students pool out of the building, hurrying to their cars or beginning their walks home.

As expected, Rory is one of the first people to leave the building, looking eager to get home as she walks down the front steps leading to the car park. At the mere sight of her, my heart races. it's been too long. I could never forget the sight of her but seeing her after so long is like meeting her for the first time all over again.