afraid/ sameena au

1. (deena)

"deena!" josh yelled. deena woke up with a start and gasped.

"jesus christ, josh.." she muttered.

"you've been in bed all day, get up!" deena sighed and rolled over. she had no interest in getting out of bed, or doing anything. even laying here awake felt draining. it had still only been two weeks since her and sam broke up and sam moved to the other side of the moon- sunnyvale. whatever. fuck her, right? deena thought.
she got out of bed spitefully and walked downstairs. she could hear the phone ringing from the stairs.

"JOSH!" she yelled. no response. "JOSH!" again. no response. she sighed and ran down the stairs and grabbed the phone.

"hello?!"

"hey lady-killer." kates warm voice responded. deena sighed again, this time with relief.

"hi kate, what's up?"

"did you just wake up or something? it's almost 5pm." deena rolled her eyes and laughed.

"yes, i did. i fell asleep when i got home from school. whatever. what's up?"

"i have some bad news. i know you quit band and all, buuuutttt tonight at 7, there's a mandatory football game. all band and cheer attendance required, babes." deena groaned.

"playing who?" the line was quiet, which was enough of an answer. shadyside witches versus the sunnyvale devils, a many year long rivalry that just never seemed to end.

"whatever. i'll be there i guess. i'll meet up with you and simon there." deena replied calmly even though all she wanted was to go into a temporary sleep coma again.

"yay! see you there!" kate smiled from the other line and then they hung up.
kate had always been a good friend, she kept up with deena's bullshit and always had her back. simon too, he was the sweetest guy. funny as hell, and a great friend. deena always wondered how they put up with her, but they made it seem easy.

about an hour later, deena was stepping onto the bus with the rest of the band, football, and cheerleaders. simon and kate were sitting in a three seater in front of her and deena sat behind them with her walkman and music blasting in her ears.
in her hands she held a box filled with memories she never wanted to look at. part of the reason she came tonight was to give this stupid box back to sam, the evil ex again. the box had everything, a mixtape, pictures, letters, gifts they had bought each other, it was them. deena wanted to burn it all, but that wouldve made it all too real for her liking. instead, she was going to give it to kate to give to sam, but i guess this was how it had to be.

sometime during half time, deena walked over to the closed snack stand and sat down. she was alone here, but had been visibly upset the whole game. before the game started, she saw sam with another guy. an ugly guy— at that. why was she with a guy anyways? sam likes girls. sam liked... me. deena thought to herself.
but the PDA said otherwise. she sat there with tears in her eyes and the stupid box next to her. it took everything in her not to start sobbing, and man was it hard.
deena missed sam, but she wouldn't admit it. i don't think she had to. everyone could tell. josh, simon, and kate all could tell that it really hurt her even if she was the one who ended it, they all expected it to be sam. she always seemed so afraid.

"deena?" an all too familiar voice said. deena looked up and to the side. there stood the girl she used to know, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and all.

"sam.." deena said quietly. she stood up and blinked hard to try and make the tears leave the corners of her eyes.

"i didn't think you would come, didn't you quit band?" sam asked awkwardly. deena kind of shrugged. she kicked the box towards sam. sam bent down to open it and when she did, it almost looked like she got hurt. she flinched and looked away quickly and then back at the things in the box.

"my stuff?" she asked again. deena nodded. sam sighed. "can you please say something? anything?"

"i feel like i've already said enough, sam." deena replied.

"come on, deena. you broke up with me remember? but somehow you're the one being cold? i should be mad at you."

"are you serious? you made the choice, i just made it official. it doesn't matter who broke up with who, you. left."

"i'm half an hour away."

"might as well be the goddamn moon, and you know it." sam scoffed. she didn't know what to say. she did make the choice, deena was right. but what else was there to do?

"oh, and i saw that guy you were with back there." deena began. sam rolled her eyes. "super cute right? congratulations!" deena said sarcastically.

"it was just so enjoyable watching him groping you..."

"stop."

"and touching you..."

"stop!"

"what's his name, sam?"

"deena, stop."

"what's his name?"

"peter! his name is peter!" sam finally yelled back. deena nodded, the tears coming back into her eyes.

"yeah well. i'm super happy for you. and i bet you are too, right? this is what you wanted all along? i know. not much of a future in shadyside with a lesbo. and i know you were always too scared to tell anyone about us. so have a nice time in sunnyvale, where it's too bright to see the shadows you're casting on the rest of us. oh- and with peter. have a nice goddamn life."

"deena, please. i didnt... i don't.." sam didn't know what to say.

"oh, by the way," deena got closer to sam. sam could see the tears brimming at deenas eyes, and deena could see the ones on sam's cheeks.
she felt sick.

"personally, i think the shadyside colors look better on you." she tugged on sam's collar lightly, not enough to move her, just to make her point clear.
deena turned and walked away and let the tears go. they flew down her face and down her cheeks and across her nose, it felt unstoppable.
and the blonde girl stayed standing back there in shock with the same tears across her face, and her heart thumping out of her chest. she turned away.