afraid/ sameena au

4.

sam sat on peters couch in a trance.
she could not stop thinking about deena. the conversation they had. though short, it was what she missed. a lot. peter was next to her, shirtless and an arm around her. he started to kiss her neck lightly, and sam did everything she could not to let her eyes roll. and not in the pleasured way. he kept kissing her neck and she just looked down. she didn't hate it, but she didn't like it either. could have been better. it was better, at one point....

*flashback*

deena and sam were laying in deenas bed. deena had an arm around sams waist and another tracing sams face.

"you're so pretty, you know that?" deena told her. sam blushed and looked down.

"you know you are too?" she replied. deena smiled this time and waited for the girl next to her to look up. deena looked into her pretty eyes and kissed her. it started off slow and romantic, and slowly picked up. sam moved closer to deena and deena seemed to have a tighter hold on sams waist. the hand that was tracing sams face started to move down her body.

at this point, it was hot.

both of their breathing was heavy and they just couldn't seem to be close enough. deena moved sams hair away from her face and her neck and started to leave a trial of kisses to her jawline, and then her neck. sam felt good then. and deena could tell.

that was what it was supposed to be like, right?

*flashback ends*

"uhm? sam? hello????" peter snapped at her. literally.

"oh- sorry, peter, whatd you say?" sam asked groggily. it was like she just woke up again.

"are you like, not into this right now?"
sam completely forgot what was happening.

"into wha-? oh! oh. sorry..." she began. "i just didn't sleep well last night i guess. it's not you, babe don't worry. just not now, okay?"

he looked at her for a second and shrugged lightly. then sat back next to her with his arm around her again.

jesus sam, good going there.

she had no clue what she was going to do. deena didn't even seem like she actually wanted me, she just was bored last night and wanted to tease me for the picture thing. she doesn't actually want to be with me. i bet she doesn't think about me like this.

no one in sunnyvale knew about sams ex. deena. none of them knew anything about her life in shadyside, and she wanted to keep it like that. she would be nothing before she got the chance to even be something. what did it matter if she had to lie a little to get where she wanted to be, right?

before she left peters house, she took a picture and put it on her instagram story. sam knew it wasn't what she really wanted, but fake it till you make it, right? plus, it's not like deena would see it anyway. they only talked the night before, it wouldn't happen again. sam knew what she had to do to get out of shadyside, now all she had to do was leave sunnyvale and her mom and get away, really.

get away from deena.

the girl she used to love.