The Precious Daughter
What was going through her mind again? This agony again that tries to hunt her without stop. She could not understand their actions, there was no explanation. Should she feel like an orphan or should she feel grateful for being with them. Should she blame her grandparents or recognized that her parents are just as cold as animal? But they did not stop her from leaving. These thoughts come every night before she goes to sleep. Is she capable to live with this truth her whole life?
There was Jessie, going straight to class. On her way she knew there was nothing to worry about. She loved the idea of boarding school because she preferred her parents far gone. Most of the time they would be in business trip, so they were never around.
Jessie cared more about her friends than what she called “family”. She would wonder around the campus with a charismatic personality and people assumed that her life was perfect. For her the school environment was perfect. She did feel wanted in the school and loved by her classmates. Being concentrated in school work and fooling around helped her to escape from reality.
When the night came, everyone went to their dorms to rest. Her father called her and they talked for a while. After so many years growing up with her parents, she did not hate them. She would even talk like a spoiled kid with them and she was not afraid of telling them how she felt.
“How is school?” Her father said with enthusiasm.
“Yeah, it’s fine. The same routine.” Jessie said sighing.
“When are you coming back home?” her father said with rush in his voice.
“I don’t know. I may stay in my friend’s house for a while.” Jessie said without hesitating.
“Jessie, have you thought about leaving the boarding school and going to a normal prep school again? Your mother and I have thought about it,” He said with a soft voice, “and we think it would be better if the whole family lives together again.”
“I don’t know if I can. I mean, I would miss my friends so much. I love my friends more than you guys.” Jessie said without caring about destroying his emotions.
Her father did not respond for a while, because of her shocking confession. He felt amazed by the way his daughter thought about them. He sent his farewell and hung up without saying any other.
She knew clearly what she was saying. She did not care about what he thought but it was the truth. Jessie did not want to make them suffer, but she sure felt some joy saying these cold words. For her, this was just a little pain compare to what she has suffered by giving her up to that woman.
She still remembers the time when she was fourteen and disobeyed her father. They had a huge argument but the only thing she remembered were her father words, “What am I going to do with you? You only cause troubles.” he said to himself.
By hearing these words she smoothly said with a smile, “Well you should have given me up to that woman and you wouldn’t have to deal with me now. Anyway I would be happier since she has more money than you.”
He father ended up speechless, since he knows that her behavior was his entire fault. They never spoke about this in the house. But she finally said out loud. He felt guilt since that one mistake has eaten him alive this whole time. The ironic thing is that this daughter that he was planning to give up turned out to be his most precious one. She knew that her father regretted about his action but she left him with that pain all the time. She did not hate him but her hurtful words could never satisfy that emptiness in her.
By nine o’clock Jessie went to the stairs outside her dorm. As always, her friends would save a spot for her. Homework was never done because of the foolish conversation that they would always have. So they ended up finishing homework before going to bed. They had the custom of sharing food at night while trying to finish all the work. All of her friends started to talk about their experience when they were kids. Her friend Jamie started to tell the story about her unborn big brother.
“I don’t know. Maybe I wouldn’t be even born.” Jamie said without looking at others.
Jessie knew it. She knew the feeling of being unwanted because she was a girl. She was able to relate with Jamie’s words. But was it that bad? What is wrong to be a woman, compare to a man. Without us, where would their generation lay? Who would teach and take care the children of those men? Their incompetent thinking disgusted her the most. She approached to Jamie and looked her straight into the eyes.
“Trust me. I understand how you feel. When I was born, my parents realized that I was not a boy and they were not that excited.” Jessie said without showing any emotions, “My grandparents told them to give me up to a woman who could not have kids.”
“Then what happened?” Jamie said intrigued by the story. The other girls were just listening carefully.
“Well, the lady came over to our house to take me away, but my two older sisters asked her why was she taking me away. The lady changed her decision and left me because she was afraid that one day my two sisters will find me and take me away.”
Jessie finished the story by saying, “The funny thing is that my parents were not the one who stop it the adoption. Ah! Funny thing, don’t you think?”
The whole place was quite. Nobody knew what to say to her. It was an awkward moment for everyone. They knew that Jessie was being sarcastic and the agony that she was feeling.
