(Dys)functional [BoyxBoy]

⚠︎ Chapter 21 ⚠︎

(Dys)functional
Chapter 21

⚠︎
Tony

"I think that went really well." I say, rocking Toby in my lap after his parents finally leave.

Toby smiles softly. "I think so too."

"Was I a good Daddy?" I ask teasingly, nuzzling his neck.

"The best." Toby looks at me with big eyes.

"Fantastic." I smile big and engulf him.

He hums. "It's such a big weight off my shoulders."

"Good, I'm glad. Now we can marry without delay!" I half joke.

The blond plays with some of the blue highlights in his hair, blushing brightly. His eyes flick to my left hand as his bottom lip is brought between his teeth.

"What did you think, Sara? Worthy grandparents?" I ask my daughter.

She nods ecstatically. "Having four grandparents sounds like super fun."

"Cool." I ruffle her hair as Marshmallow steps on her drawing.

"Seeing Mommy's mommy makes me think about my old girl mom." She pets the cat. "He looks a lot like his parents. I know I'm different, but it makes me imagine."

I bite my lip. "Do you remember anything about your old mom, Sara?"

She shakes her head. "Only that you said she's a skank and bad."

I look down, folding my hands together. "That wasn't true, Sara. I was just mad and hurt. Your mom's not a skank or bad."

"Then why can't I see her?"

I slide Toby off of my lap and pull Sara up instead so she can face me, taking one of her hands in mine. "Honestly, baby, it's because Daddy's afraid."

She swallows thickly. "But Daddy doesn't get scared. Is she a scary woman?"

"No," I shake my head and look to Toby for direction. Is it time to tell her? Not all of it, but at least some of the truth. I don't want her blaming herself anymore, but I'm afraid if she hears about Hannah or meets her, she'll want to be with her, and it'll tear her up inside that she can't be. It almost seems like it'd be better to leave her as a mysterious figment, a word rather than a person.

Toby grabs her other hand. "Your first mom isn't bad."

Sara puffs her cheeks out. "Do you know her? If she's not bad, why are you replacing her?"

He smiles thoughtfully. "Sara, did I make you?"

She looks at him cautiously. "I don't think so. You can't have a baby, right?"

"That's right, I can't." He gently pokes her chest. "She made you with your daddy. So in a way, she's always with you. Do you know how some of the kids at school have stepparents?"

Sara nods.

"It's like that. I'm not replacing her. I'd be another, different mom. Or, if you don't want to call me 'mom,' you can come up with another name for me. Just like we have Marshmallow and Chestnut, you can have me and her."

I nod. "That's right. Toby's not replacing anybody. He is his own member of our family with his own place in our hearts."

"Do you not love her?"

I play with her hand. "I did love her, once, a long time ago when we made you, but things got complicated. Sara, your mom didn't leave you because she wanted to, in fact she fought like hell not to lose you, but she was sick and she wasn't doing what her doctor told her to do to get better. So the doctors had to take her somewhere they could help her. That's where she's been all these years, getting help." I tell her, leaving out the prison sentence.