Love... Not Romance [BoyxBoy]

27 - Confusing Love

 Emily Green gave a short speech. It was all about how important reading is. The way she gave her speech, it was really boring. I don't even get why a publishing company needs an endorser. The Robinsons must be really desperate to get higher sales.

After giving her speech, Emily went down the stage and started greeting the guests. Nico and I were getting drinks at that moment. He looked normal to me, but I was unsure what he was really feeling at that moment.

"Are you alright?" I asked Nico.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Nico replied.

"Come on, Nico. You know what I mean."

Nico sighed. "Honestly, I'm surprised to see her here. I would be lying if I say that her presence here doesn't affect me in any way. Quite surprisingly, though, I feel really fine. I thought it would harder for me to see her, or to be near her, but I'm totally alright. I actually feel alright." Somehow, Nico sounded surprised himself.

"That's good then." I was really glad that Nico was alright. I don't know what I'm happier about, though. The fact that Nico wasn't brooding or the fact that he was slowly moving on from Emily?

"You said you're fine having her around, right? You said you weren't as affected as you thought you would be." I said slowly.

"Yeah. Why?" Nico asked.

"Well... what about Stephen Jacobs? Are you fine seeing him together with Emily?" I asked.

"I don't know. Why are you asking?"

"He just arrived," I said as I watched Stephen Jacobs walked towards Emily. "And now they're holding hands." Idiot. Why did I say that? Nico suddenly furrowed his eyebrows. I guess having Emily around was fine with him, but having the man who came in between them was still an open wound of sort. "You're not fine..." I sighed.

"Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like I'm getting angry because they're together." Nico explained. "I just don't really like that man." His words sounded like nothing but an excuse to me, though. An excuse to convince himself that he was moving from Emily.

"You don't like seeing him with Emily?" I asked, but Nico didn't reply. "If it's still hard for you to see her with another man, then it only means..." What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so disappointed?

"That's not it." Nico said, interrupting me. "Everything is over between me and her. She choose that guy over me, and I have to accept that. No, I have accepted that. I'm moving on."

I looked at Nico, unconvinced by his words. "Ok." I said shortly.

"Come on, I'll prove it to you." He said and then took my hand and then pulled me.

"Hey, where are we going?" I asked him.

"We're going to talk to Emily and Stephen. I'm going to prove to you that I'm over her, and that I'm not affected with them being together," Nico said persistently. I see. That's why he held my hand. We're going to pretend to be dating, in front of Stephen and Emily.

"How is that going to prove anything?" I complained. "Besides, it sounds to me that you're trying to prove things to yourself, not me." I added.

"Drew..." Nico said as he stopped. "Could you please... just let me prove it to you...?" Nico said, sounding a bit exhausted. His fingers intertwined with mine, and then he tightened his hold on my hand. His hand was cold and shaky.

It was then that I understood what he was really feeling at that moment. He was trying to prove tings to himself, but he was afraid of admitting it to himself. He was afraid of the possibility that he might still get hurt because of her.