infinite poop

infinite poop. sitting on the toilet, the poop wont stop coming out of your butthole. you start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. you try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides feel like bursting. the poop accelerates. you call 911. the paramedics call for doctors. the doctors call for paramedics. the paramedics call for specialists. the story is trending on twitter. your septic tank is overflowing. people form a cult. your toilet is completely destroyed. voulenteers arrive with shovels and buckets. everyone is completely used to the repulsive stench. the poop accelerates. you are moved up onto to a stepladder with a hole in the top step and voulenteers place buckets underneath. they abandon the buckets and begin shoveling directly out the window. the poop accelerates. a candlelight vigil forms around your house. one of the workers falls over and can't free himself from drowning in poop. a priest tries to bless you but it doesn't work. the priest knocks over the step ladder and tackles you out the window. you land directly in the pile. the poop accelerates. the force of the poop now propels you forward and upward. the crowd of horrified onlookers try to grab at your legs while being rained on by poop. the facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. the poop accelerates. you are 30 feet in the air. the candles from the vigil ignite the poop piles and causes a fiery inferno of poop on your house and the surrounding area. the poop accelerates. the facebook live event reaches 10 million viewers. the torrent underneath your butthole is deafening and life threatening to anybody within a one mile radius. onlookers try to evacuate the area but most are already drowned in poop. you are 60 feet in the air. your butthole had disintegrated long ago. 120 feet in the air. your whole property is blown to smithereens. the poop accelerates. your are 1000 feet in the air. you are now being tracked on a radar. you try to change your angle of ascent but its too late and you should've thought of that way earlier. the poop accelerates. 4,000 feet in the air. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. concentric circles of fire and poop engulf your entire city. the poop accelerates. you have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. you can no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. every major news agency in america is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. you are no longer alive. the poop accelerates. your body is completely disintegrated but the poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. you break the light-speed barrier and the world can no longer bear witness. the poop accelerates. forever and ever. infinite poop.