my book

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organs bloat;
at the age of seventeen
i sit down to write my book
of an anxious teenager
with too much time at hand 
but i feel like i still live
in the chapter one 
and so i tear the book 
for it is nothing beyond
tragedies of a girl. 
clot in arteries;
at the age of twenty 
i sit down to write my book 
of future and dreams 
with a profane detachment 
and time escapement 
but i feel like i still live
in the chapter one 
and so i burn the book 
for it is nothing beyond 
dullness of disconnected 
veins. 
paralyzed fingers; 
i am twenty two
i continue to write the book 
of saids and unsaids 
lost time like slipping sand 
but i realise that i had been
living in chapter one 
and so i bury the book 
for it is nothing beyond 
versions of ghosts 
twisted and turned. 
and at twenty three
i bring in a book 
of a primadonna
but in time i throw it away
and get back to writing 
my book; 
the flower starts to bloom 
as arteries shed clots 
and organs unblot 
with moving fingers unbowed. 

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